it was a monday

{Fin’s lunch of homemade soup…thank you Campbell’s…….

and bananas which boosts brain cell production and hopefully tells your stomach that you are fine}

…………

I really look forward to Mondays….it’s probably my favorite day of the week.

Why do i love Mondays you ask……

well….

it’s because of the best invention known to man……

a place called…..

school.

A yellow bus arrives 5 morning a week….and picks up two out of the three kids…..right on time….

and i hate when anyone is late out the door.

This morning two significant things happened.

First…..Fin was up most of the night with a stomach bug.

Now…if you know anything about me….and my household rules…..it’s that no one is allowed a sick day on a Monday.

I have an exception to that rule though when vomit is involved….

and it states….

as long as you are vomiting….then you don’t have to go to school…but if you have a three hour period

in which you do not vomit….then you should go to school.

I’m in the mindset that maybe it’s not a stomach bug….but in fact due to the sheer amount of candy

and soda and cupcakes he had this weekend.

Anyhoo…..Fin was up most of the night from around Β 1 ish….then pretty much was up Β every hour

on the dot….with the garbage bucket next to his bed.

{I also don’t wash sheets if someone vomits in them….because…well….i don’t really want that crap

all over the inside of my 1985 one setting Maytag washer……so if you vomit…then you get new sheets.}

Anyhoo….back to the story.

As i was getting Mason and Lola ready to head out the door…

i noticed a large lost dog wandering the neighborhood.

What you don’t know…is Mason hates dogs…..and he especially hates big ones.

So…i looked outside again and i’m pretty damn sure this dog was part pit bull.

I happen to know what pit bulls look like because one of my friends had one …

and it ate her neighbors cat…

{bless his heavenly soul}

so yes….

i know what those dogs look like…..and i thought better of letting my kids walk to the bus…

so i got in the car and drove them all of the whole 150 feet up to the bus stop.

Did i mention that Lola and i sat in the freezing snow to sell girl scout cookies on Saturday…

……my big toe is still black with frostbite…but i’ll live.

Sorry….sometimes i just blurt things out like that and it has nothing to do with the conversations we were having…

it’s kinda like a Charlie Sheen thing….but without being on drugs.

Or maybe it had to do with the drugs they gave me in labor….because i still remember how good those were.

I love drugs.

Legal drugs of course.

Do you think they give medical marijuana to help with Frostbite?

check check….

buehler…

you still here?

{my lunch is a grilled red pepper and cheese sandwich with corn salsa…and tomato soup…..

which boosts the ..’i can just lay on the sofa all day and cuddle my now 6 year old who smells like vomit’

….part of my brain}

………

Anyhoooooo…..back to part two…..

and you thought you were done reading.

ha!

After we got Mason and Lola safely on the bus…we headed to a place named *DARGET*…because of course…

we needed some soda and jello to calm the stomach….and were heading back up to the front to check out

when little man decided he needed to vomit.

{sorry about all the vomit talk…i should have warned you at the beginning of the post}

Ummmmmm……

apparently i am NOT the mom that goes out of the house prepared with a disposable plastic bag…

like those of you that carry them around when you walk your dog…

no….

so what do we do…..

i did what any normal Anthro loving mom who really wants a pair of yellow hunter boots would do…

i lifted the top of the closest garbage can…{aisle #4}….let Fin do his business…… put the top back on…

and made our way to the front to check out…and headed home.

{I officially apologize to the nice looking gentleman on end-cap 4D….who happened to witness

a stay at home mother in her finest hour…..without a bra or mascara on….}

The end.

*Some names have been changed to protect the shopper*

Comments

  1. You need a vacay. Come to Phoenix…it was 82 the other day.

    Rebecca

  2. the scary think is that your three darling ragamuffins will grow up and you will get a call from Fin from college saying that he has been up vomiting all night – and you WILL say (even on a Monday), “Hunny you can’t go to class if you are vomiting” and he will say, “Mom! I have a midterm and can’t miss it!”
    You’re a good mama – Hope Finny feels better

  3. ha! I never have a bra on! πŸ˜‰

    I too love Mondays…hubby goes back to work! lol! No…I do really love the weekends…but I tend to eat a lot and not exercise…and not clean…and somehow monday I have the motivation to restart and get these things done (now following through with these ideas is another story!).

    So I painted a gray chalkboard wall today thanks to your inspiration! Sooo excited! :)))))))

  4. Baaahahhhahhahah.
    The end.

  5. This sounds eerily like my day on Friday.
    I happen to love Mondays as well, it’s like a weekend but it’s not.

  6. I hope you get a good break soon. Mondays are demanding on me too…

  7. Must be going around… my two year-old threw up all over the dairy aisle in the supermarket… no bin… just right there on the floor… over the trolley and groceries… nice… My BF is about to have her first baby and so I told her about the joys of motherhood… Once upon a time, a day like today, would have been with her, after a night of partying… Oh, how life changes! Lx

  8. you are so funny! I had the same day, in fact all last week, including a teenager with a broken rib that wasn’t broken…

    and are you telling me you have hunters in YELLOW and a ruffly camera strap? not fair

    and yes I’d like to see it..surely you’ll be blogging it…if not send me the pic and I will

    x

  9. yeah I’d love to blog your ruffle

  10. This post today really hits home. My Fin made it to school. Got the call, drive to school. Pick up my Fin and she says by the way here is a bucket for the ride. Return it when you can. “YUK”.
    2 boxes of girl scout cookies in Im thinking hes better.
    Then in your post you talked about Drugs and your love for legal ones. My Finn tells me they did a report in school today. Each kid picks a friend and they have to research on line a drug? He got marajuana. He tells me “Mom if I was not in school doing this reaseach I think Id a been arrested. Did you know people smoke out of pop cans? I say what honey I never heard of that πŸ™‚
    I like Mondays at home alone with no questions.. NO Spainin Notin… No pale faced Fin asking me bout pot or other street names for his drug report.

  11. Funny. Gross, but funny.

  12. I love your posts honey!!! You crack me up! I’m having a Spring Break giveaway, check it out! http://www.blondeepisodes.com/2011/03/spring-break-giveaway.html

    Kori xoxo

  13. I want to know if that is a true story about throwing up in the garbage can at Target or are you just being funny?

    I can’t do throw up at all:( Sorry Fin is sick and hope he feels better soon.

  14. Sounds like you need to take a break from Mondays for awhile. Maybe next week you should just skip to Tuesday? Hope Fin gets better fast.

  15. Aww poor little guy. Hope he’s back to normal soon!

  16. First of all your food photos made me want to stay home sick in bed — and then have someone cook beautiful get well food for me. Second, you’re a GREAT mom for driving your kids to the bus stop and away from the big mean dog!

  17. Happiness comes from the inside. That’s why you feel better when you puke! (The cutest boy in school wrote that in his senior statement…way back in the day) I hope your little cutie feels better soon! When I was little…and sick…my mom would give me sprite and those donuts with the toasted coconut sprinkles.

    : )

    Julie M.

  18. Happiness comes from the inside. That’s why you feel better when you puke! (The cutest boy in school wrote that in his senior statement…way back in the day) I hope your little cutie feels better soon! When I was little…and sick…my mom would give me sprite and those donuts with the toasted coconut sprinkles.

    : )

    Julie M.

  19. Poor wee man…you know I have a boy — who is going to do this on Monday — he’s 17 — and the party is happening. Cats — the show opening week. He’s in it and plays the cutest of cats — Orlonzo.
    My boy — still needs a Monday off after a party weekend and it has nothing to do with vomit , just the fact that this Mummy knows her boy.

  20. Shannon says:

    Love it!

  21. Is it wrong/bad to have a fit of giggles over this tale of vomit while your lil’ guy is sick??! His momma is just too darn funny πŸ˜‰ I do hope Fin is feeling well really soon and that your Tuesday will be a better day for all.
    P.S. For the record…pit bulls scare me too!

  22. Thanks brightening up my morning with a good belly laugh! You’re priceless! πŸ™‚ And I hope Fin is finally feeling better!

  23. I’m sad for Fin but you made me laugh! Thank you!

  24. too much…..poor poor Fin….but you DID manage to brighten my day! You are great!

  25. I’m not sure if I am going to laugh or vomit myself… Sick kids are no fun but vomitty ones are the worst! I hope he is feeling better today because I am quite sure you are damn good and ready to have the house to yourself. Those lunches sure did look fabulous though!
    Have a great week~
    xx

  26. Poor little guy! But you know what I kept thinking as I was finishing reading? God, that sandwich looked good!!

  27. LOL…that was really nice of you to change the names for the protection of the shopper…poor Fin…I hope he’s feeling better…sounds like one heck of a Monday you had.

  28. Jennifer says:

    If the 6 year old vomits on the sofa, can you get a new one?

  29. My just turned 6 year old vomited today away too. And I dragged him to my shop. Poor kid watched Hulu and puked all day while I worked.
    There’s always tomorrow!

  30. You are so stinkin’ funny. I needed this post today. Thank you.

  31. I’ve been a mom for almost 18 years now. I’ve dealt with enough puke to last me for the rest of my life. Haha!

  32. Poor baby. Any mother who doesn’t have a puke story is either lying or they have a nanny who deals with the puke. I forced my son to go to Target after being at the dentist and he proceeded to repay me by puking in the cosmetic isle. I couldn’t bear to have the employee clean it up so the handed me paper towels and some spray cleaner.
    And more importantly when you say yellow hunter boots do you mean wellies? I just did a post on how much I love them. I ordered mine yesterday. So excited!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: