what happens to cheese that molds

I was going to title this post

4 ways to crash a wedding but i still have cold sweats about the day Mason googled my name and 

wedding crasher popped up and i saw that crease in his forehead………

{not that i’m ashamed one single bit……because seriously…..i’m almost 40 now and those of us in the almost 

40 crowd need to be on our best behavior}

……..sometimes……..

or just be who you are ………….

because everyone else is taken.

That is why my friends…..i decided to title the post

What happens to cheese that molds

because one day a parent might be doing research on a science fair project for school when they come across this

and i really just want that parent to know that you should probably just throw it out…..

in the garbage

because i can tell you that cheese will mold

and it molds fast

but please don’t waste the Chèvre ……that damn cheese isn’t worth molding.

Ok……back to the story at hand.

check check

photo

 

I haven’t blogged in so long i forgot how to log on and update.

Today i ran into an Instagram follower who casually mentioned that she found me via the blog but then

because i no longer blog….follows me on IG but made a point that it would be nice if maybe….just maybe i could update the 

ole blog and just let peeps know that no i haven’t fallen off a cliff and died.

I’m here to tell you that no….i haven’t fallen off any cliffs

but because it’s been at least a century {or 10 months} that i’ve written here……i might have…maybe…just maybe

fallen 

or in other words tripped

while on a cliff

and that thing called a wrist decided to break my fall and with the whole break my fall

broke itself.

This was back at the beginning of January….so that was 6 weeks in a cast……6 weeks of PT and pretty much i’m back to normal now…..

if normal was ever normal.

Anyhoo……i just popped in to update you on what is going on here.

……………..

1. We finally broke down and bought a cruiser of a car. See photo above. Sometimes it stalls…sometimes it doesn’t….

sometimes i can get my kids to look cute and i’ll get a staged photo of them looking like they actually like the damn thing

but in reality….the a/c doesn’t work so it’s hotter than sheet in the dead of summer and it only gets AM radio which works

fabulous on an island because there is only one radio station ……or 2……

and thank the good lord and you have to keep your foot on

brake at all times because if you don’t the car thinks it has full throttle and will move you out of that parking lot

faster then you can say GOONIES.

2. Which brings me to the second point. I’m still working my arse off a few nights a week and last month i worked over and

beyond what is even possible …..but somehow i survived but anyway….

{slow break for some fine boxed wine here…..}

i was working like a rabid dog because in less than 4 weeks the Mr and i are headed to Iceland.

{insert forehead wrinkle}

I get it……you’re all like ….where? seriously…..Iceland?!?

You mean the place where there is Ice? as in….. ICE COLD BEER????

yup

and we can’t wait.

Actually i can’t wait……Bryan on the other hand might not be as excited as me……and the only reason i say this is because

i had to look for his passport the other day and it was expired. So of course being the dedicated wife that i am…….

i sent it off….. expedited service….. hoping we get it in time…….

but deep down i think i know that it was meant to never be found.

……..hmmmm.

Iceland

An island covered in Ice……with no beach chairs in sight?!?

but i’m sort of a cup is full type of girl…..and i’m not going to let all that ice get in the way of seeing Northern Lights

or taking an Icelandic cooking class or sitting at the Blue Lagoon with a hundred other tourists.

Nope……so Ice….i’ll see you in 4 weeks.

Check check double check

3. Bryan still works as a server…….at the nicest hotel on the Northshore…..

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{um no……this isn’t the place……but it’s a close 2nd…….

and to the person that invented the HIS & HER tent….wham bam vodka slam…

i owe you my firstborn child.}

4. Mason and Lola are now in middle school.

{we’ve since bought stock in fine boxed wine}

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5. We haven’t caught the kids smoking any weed yet…..so there might still be hope that we survive this thing called

“move to hawaii for a year but then here we are more than 3 years later…..”

6. They should offer medicinal marijuana to those with broken wrists…..just saying……

7. I ran a 5k over the summer and silent high five fist pump……came in 4th place for my age division.

{no need to tell everyone that there were only 4 ladies in my age group…..nope….no need to mention that}

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8. We lost our house in Illinois.

I mean……it’s still there…..and i’m sure our old neighbors will forever be haunted by the way the yard was overgrown

with weeds {the legal kind}

but after our whole fiasco of having to evict a tenant that had stopped paying the rent and losing an uphill battle….

we really had no other choice to let the house go.

That was one of the hardest things we have ever gone through…..the whole process of losing a house to the F word.

FORECLOSURE

I swear we almost divorced over that…….

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but here we are……still married……still have each other…….and still living this life that God thought we needed.

That’s the important thing……

that and some fine boxed wine

IMG_77839. Have you ever wondered what to do with a house full of furniture that still sits in a storage unit on the

other side of the US?

10. You might not have realized it but Lola’s {mine really} mouse died this year…..

yeah i know…..

a mouse

but seriously people……..if bee’s had knees……Captain Morgan was that knee.

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i found his photos amongst the others…….our favorite Captain…….

which is why i leave you with this beautiful quote……in a book of poems i found……which i just happened to

capture the Captain on one day.

so pour yourself a little glass of fine boxed wine….it pairs well with this post.

not normal

What happens when a blogger stops blogging?

The world doesn’t end…….

that i know. It’s a fact.

A writer never stops writing.

A cook never stops cooking.

Kids never stop whining.

{maybe one day they do….i’ll let you know}

I wish i had some sort of mighty plan that i was going to lay out here today ….

but nope….

i don’t have any newsworthy anything to blog about but here i am…..

peeking my head in to say hello….

and i realize it’s been months since i last blogged…

and it might be months more till you see another post….but today i am here.

hello….

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I told a few of my friends that today i would blog…..

and that was a few weeks ago….and here we are the beginning of middle of August

so i’m pouring myself a cocktail since i just got home from work

and as i sit here there are a pile of dirty dishes in the sink….

a skinny margarita was what i just poured if you must know

{and yes….it’s my new drink of choice}

 just so we are up front and honest from here on out….

this isn’t the blog for you if you have a problem with fine boxed wine.

or vodka

or tequila.

There are lots of amazing blogs out there where moms don’t drink or feed their kids gmo’s or

fake call into work sick or crash weddings or move their families to an island with no regrets….

or take photos of  their kids pet mice or hijack the mannequin from work.

Tons of amazing blogs out there…..that don’t do that type of stuff.

I’m not one of those.

The Buicks are not that normal….we admit it.

not normal

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as a matter of fact….

after just one week in his new private middle school…..Mason’s teacher up and quit.

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It might have been due to the fact that Mason is a horror child……maybe

or it could have been the fact that 30 kids…a brand spanking new school and curriculum sent her over the edge.

Who knows…..

but today we have a new teacher and i feel good about it.

We feel good about it.

and most importantly……life goes on right…..

this is our life

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I just want you to know that i have not fallen off the deep end.

I’m here.

Life has taken over……we’ve had a great summer……and the kids started school this last Monday…..

a few weeks ago…..

which was a blessing.

I am not one of those moms that took a million photos and hash tagged them

#iblinkedandtheygrewup

#savoreverysinglemomentalwaysandforeverandeverandeverandever

#icannotbelieveihaveamiddleschooler

#donotbreathsavorohmygoodgodwheredidthetimego

I am not that mom.

pinkyswear

shoot me

right here and now.

I just want to make it clear.

we fall in lust

we fall in love

we get married

{or we don’t get married}

we make babies

{or we get dogs and cats}

if we have babies all that is embedded in our brains is that the time will fly and the next thing you know your

kid is getting married {or not} themselves and you wonder where that time went.

Whatever happened to just enjoying those moments and looking back on them with fond memories instead of 

constantly saying…

“omgoodness….where did the time go”????

it goes people

faster than you can blink.

I think it makes us feel better……and now we can hash#tag everything with

#yesmykidsareoldenoughtomaketheirownbreakfast

I actually was excited for them to start school

I love my kids….i do….honest.

{and kudos and a million to you homeschooling momma’s out there}

but my kids belong in school and if it was a year round school then maybe you would have seen me

blogging a bit more but no….we had 2 months off and of course we did enjoy every minute of it….

but sheet howdy

summers around here can be long.

Groundhog day long.

Fin and Lola started right back at an elementary school somewhere in hawaii

3rd grade and 6th grade

not normal

who the hell gives out their kids elementary school name right?

i do.

waving her hand high….

guilty as charged.

Like you wouldn’t be able to find my kids

but trust me….you don’t want them.

Fin still doesn’t wear underwear and lola now wears boys shorts and Mason smirks and rolls his eyes……

and the last time i checked…..

they had been out of toothpaste for a month but considered brushing their teeth with just water and a toothbrush

A-Ok

not normal

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The first day of school was amazing.

I woke up early….i sang….i took a shower….i might have even shaved my legs.

I made everyone lunch….i even made a pot of coffee and had 3 cups before even one child woke up.

The first day was beautiful.

I even had my 2nd annual Kauai moms and mimosas get together……

which officially tell me that we have been here 2 years.

2 years

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The first day of school was beautiful.

I even went to work as usual….at 2 o’clock….and feeling mighty fine after 8 or 10 mimosas.

I am that girl

I think i even had my best sales day ever.

or not….hard to remember….

errrr

actually not…..i just double checked.

But those mimosas were good….damn good….and the kids were back in school.

That is till i got a phone call at work from bryan asking me if he should take Fin to the doctor

because his eye was swelling and the rash that he had on his belly was starting to spread.

He asked me why i sent him to school……

so i asked him if he wanted sex ever again.

not normal

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The weekend before school started….Fin had what looked like bug bites on his stomach…..

and those bug bites spread a little so that on the first day of school he had 3 or 4 around one of his eyes.

By the end of the school day his eye was starting to swell and the bumps on his torso were looking raw.

Bryan took woogie to the doctor.

Bryan’s first time ever to take one of our kids to the doctor.

An award in heaven was given that day…..

Anyhoo……back to Woogie….

{think woogie from the movie “something about mary” }

 we nearly put him on a plane to Molokai  to go and live with the lepers.

Fin had blood work…was put on 2 different antibiotics missed the rest of the week of school….

and come to find out a week later that it was caused by the sap of a Mango

aka

mango sap rash

don’t google rashes……it’s not a good thing to do…trust me

but apparently the sap of a mango is the first cousin once removed to poison ivy.

As of today….Fin is back to being Fin…..and that’s a good thing.

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We’ve made some great new friends over the course of the last few months……

and everything just seems to be falling into place.

What i’ve learned in the last few years…..and i can offically say YEARS now since we hit the two year mark

in the last few days is this:

we love our life….we do.

beach life suits us.

I love that i can get up in the morning at the crack ass of dawn and take them to jump off rocks into salt water

I love that i can take them on 8 mile hikes to waterfalls

not normal

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i love that all three kids signed up for the Hanalei bay swim challenge and completed it…..

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even though two of the three children go out and said they were never

ever

ever in the history of the world going to do that ever ever again.

But that day…they did it.

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This summer we could only afford to send the kids to one week of tennis camp…..

apparently i was the only happy one that they were going to camp

not normal

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On july 11th….

bryan and i hit our 15th year anniversary.

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So we did what any normal couple would do on their anniversary…..

we tried to go out to dinner.

There is this chef named Justin and he bought a food truck and named it Kauai Ono...

 rented some property in the middle of Hanalei

where he parks the food truck but 2 nights a week serves a 5 course dinner under a pop up tent.

Word on the beach was getting around and so i called to get us in.

Justin said it was a good week or two wait.

sheet.

That’s what i get for calling the week before our anniversary.

sheet sheet sheet

Then i emailed Justin on Wednesday

{the night before our anniversary}

and asked if he had any cancellations for the following night and he 

got right back to me that he just had 2 cancellations for that night. 

Wednesday.

It was 5:30 when he called.

Dinner was at 6:30.

We were at our pool making out we were watching the kids swim.

We had 45 minutes to shower…..feed the kids dinner….

get a movie situated for them

aka: meet our babysitter for the night

{and because it’s against social media law to actually say aloud that you left your kids at home alone

till after the fact that you actually did so}

not normal

I showered….but didn’t have time to blow dry my hair…..

quickly threw on something….i don’t remember what…

while i was making some Kraft mac n cheese and realized i didn’t even have milk….

so i used sour cream instead of milk and guess what????

no child even knew.

{the truth my hand is sitting on the bible……it worked and no one knew}

Bryan and i flew out of the house…..and last minute realized we didn’t have wine……

so i ran back into the house and looked at our empty  box of fine wine so we had to bring out the good stuff.

I had photographed a family the week before that was visiting from Napa…..

and they surprised me with a real bottle of wine.

The kind of bottle that has a real top…the kind you pour from…..not the kind you twist the nozzle and it streams out of.

 

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We arrived right at 6:28

not a minute late……but 2 minutes to spare.

I think we were the only locals that night…….

{we are allowed to call ourselves locals now that we’ve lived here 2 years….

my kids just confirmed that for me}

My hair was still wet….

and Bryan put his hands together started saying a little prayer

that there were would be little Mason jars on the table 

for both wine and water to drink out of……

He seriously loves when i get up and start taking photos.

Ask him.

He loves that sheet.

One of the best parts of the evening was when we sat down and the couple sitting next to us

introduced themselves as blog readers.

i kid you not

SHEET

here we were on our 15 year anniversary dinner and we were sitting down with a couple that 

knew everything about us…..but by the 2nd course…..

they knew that we were horrible parents by leaving our kids at home by themselves

and the facade was gone.

We couldn’t act fake and had to be normal.

We drank toooo much wine and had tooo much fun and made new friends under a tent in the middle of the pacific.

not normal

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 Here we are….back to the time at present.

It’s the middle of August…..almost the end…..

and life keeps puttering on for us.

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the meaning of Ohana

first and foremost…..if you look right above…you might notice my new header.

My friend Sara over at Sadie Olive designed it up for me after i mentioned the fact that it had been almost

18 months since i’ve updated the blog header so she took it upon herself to help me out.

I think the mason jar cocktail on the beach pretty much sums it up.

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Hello monday….nice to see you.

I used to me a Monday lover.

{not to be confused with an everyday lover}

Sunday would roll around and i would think to myself….it’s almost sunday night and sunday night means 

Mad Men is on…..and i love that….but it also coincides with Hawaii Life on HGTV…..and since we don’t have dvr

{god forbid i write this out loud……}

we watch television in real time around here …

WE WATCH TELEVISION IN REAL TIME AROUND HERE

there i wrote it……

hate me but you don’t need to feel sorry for me…..

because having anything extra like the once loved dvr

is out of the question….end of story.

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Back to the real story though….

check check

sunday evening rolls around and i have to pry myself with fine boxed wine

to stay up till 9 pm because we are on real-time here….

{and a good 6 hours behind the East Coast in case you were wondering}

to watch my beloved Mad Men…..but that is not what i’m here to talk about.

I was telling you all about how MAYBE

JUST POSSIBLY

that come Sunday………… i’m thinking about Monday.

why?

Because monday is a school day.

Is it wrong to love a school day i ask you???

Is it hate the sin but love the sinner?????

or hate the sinner but love the fine boxed wine???

{now before you go all holy on me and start in on the ……”i’ve homeschooled for 243 years and i wouldn’t

change a thing ….and i love mondays because i can be around my kids even more and did you know my kid

can count to 28 and he’s only 14 months we still co-sleep with our 16 year old who is actually taking college courses

at the local college….}

Not anymore though……we are going onto week 2 here in Hawaii of our 2 month summer vacation….

and normally i might mind….but we’ve had family in town this last week….so when i looked at the clock

and noticed that it’s Sunday evening and i wasn’t having heart palpitations……

it meant my family was doing a good job of helping me forget that it is indeed summer vacation and the kids

are home every single day for 2 months straight.

every

single

day

{i’ve been known to call summer here in Hawaii…….GROUNDHOG DAY}

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wake up

pack up

go to beach

come home

shower

go to bed

REPEAT FOR 60 DAYS

……..

Please don’t think i’m complaining…..but when you live on a small island and really can’t afford all the

camps that are offered everywhere….it really does turn into GROUNDHOG DAY.

{and i refuse to admit that my 24 year old cousin who is staying with us right now just came down to tell me

that she would like me to catch the cockroach that is running around Lola’s her room……

yes…..i refuse to admit that summer is here and there might be cockroaches the size of  3 year olds living amongst us}

Family_093this had nothing to do with groundhogs day though…..

nothing at all.

I once painted a wall in chalkboard paint while i watched Bill Murray reenact Groundhog day on the tele.

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Last Wednesday i had gotten a phone call from one of my friends back home in Illinois

telling me that there was a moving truck in front of our home.

I haven’t gone into the full detailed summary about our house back there……but as you know

the tenants had  stopped paying rent……

and we were in the throws of trying to get them evicted.

It’s not pretty nor is it easy or cheap or anything.

A lot of alcohol was consumed over the month of May…..i kid you not.

We’ve also had a lot of company this last month and it’s just hard to sit down and have a normal discussion ….

and needless to say it was just stressful all around.

I swear if we got one more note from our neighbor letting us know that our yard looked like sheet…

well….

i mean seriously?

We know.

Thank you very much.

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Two years ago we were on beginning of what we thought was going to be the best year of our lives….

we knew we had a chance to jump into something that a lot of people wouldn’t think twice about.

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and the best part was that we landed with both feet on the ground.

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Yes we realize that even though one set of feet didn’t have the monotonous  corporate job….

and the other set of feet didn’t have the weekly flea markets and girls nights out….

what we did have was each other.

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with a different type of life….

even though we wouldn’t forget the old one.

We were ready for it…..and all of its challenges.

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We found out on Friday that the our tenants had finally vacated our home….

the same day we got notice from the city that they had stopped paying their utilities as well.

As i sit here and write our story about our ups and downs…..i also realize there will always be people that 

feel the need to cast judgement and tell us how we should be living our life.

Case in point: neighbor back home who actually  emailed us and told us that it was time to stop dreaming

and come back to the “real world” and take care of our yard that was overgrown with weeds.

I kid you not.

I wasn’t even going to write about this but now that i’ve had a few glasses of fine boxed wine….

my fine dignity is flying out the window.

How were we to know our tenants would stop paying rent?….

 and we are at the mercy of hope and process servers.

We had originally moved to chicago because the company that Bryan was working for had moved us there from Colorado

for his job. It wasn’t a happy move…but we did it because we wanted what was best for our family.

4 years down the road the same company laid him off.

We had made amazing friends….

the kids had made amazing friends….

we loved our house…..

but we never loved the frigid winters.

We never gave it a second thought after Bryan was let go to not do something else with our lives….

and yes…

we miss our friends…..and the kids still talk about their life in Illinois

…..it was 4 years of some of their best memories…..

Halloween with the neighbors…..

the annual Christmas white elephant exchange….

 wonderful Lincoln school…..

book club….

Trader Joe’s and crashing wedding receptions.

The list goes on and on……..

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Family_Digital_018but change is good.

And we know the friends from back home that will be life long friends……

they care about us no matter what.

Because the lifers will always be lifers.

word

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and life goes on.

So….take it all in….because life is so short….that we know.

Life is for living…..wherever that may.

You have to do what is right for your own family….and this is what we felt was right for ours.

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{even though there may be weeds and the grass is taller then the boy who mows the lawn…..}

and who knows…..you might have a cockroach in a jar sitting in the kitchen because your cousin made you

come up to her room in the middle of the night to catch it…..

just make sure you don’t catch it in a jar that you plan on drinking  out of at the beach just like the header up above….

because that is not real life.

reality check

it is real life.

This is real life.….

and we love it.

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{Photography was done by the wonderful Bryce Covey}

……………….

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten”

-Lilo Pelekai. Lilo and Stitch

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