what happens to cheese that molds

I was going to title this post

4 ways to crash a wedding but i still have cold sweats about the day Mason googled my name and 

wedding crasher popped up and i saw that crease in his forehead………

{not that i’m ashamed one single bit……because seriously…..i’m almost 40 now and those of us in the almost 

40 crowd need to be on our best behavior}

……..sometimes……..

or just be who you are ………….

because everyone else is taken.

That is why my friends…..i decided to title the post

What happens to cheese that molds

because one day a parent might be doing research on a science fair project for school when they come across this

and i really just want that parent to know that you should probably just throw it out…..

in the garbage

because i can tell you that cheese will mold

and it molds fast

but please don’t waste the Chèvre ……that damn cheese isn’t worth molding.

Ok……back to the story at hand.

check check

photo

 

I haven’t blogged in so long i forgot how to log on and update.

Today i ran into an Instagram follower who casually mentioned that she found me via the blog but then

because i no longer blog….follows me on IG but made a point that it would be nice if maybe….just maybe i could update the 

ole blog and just let peeps know that no i haven’t fallen off a cliff and died.

I’m here to tell you that no….i haven’t fallen off any cliffs

but because it’s been at least a century {or 10 months} that i’ve written here……i might have…maybe…just maybe

fallen 

or in other words tripped

while on a cliff

and that thing called a wrist decided to break my fall and with the whole break my fall

broke itself.

This was back at the beginning of January….so that was 6 weeks in a cast……6 weeks of PT and pretty much i’m back to normal now…..

if normal was ever normal.

Anyhoo……i just popped in to update you on what is going on here.

……………..

1. We finally broke down and bought a cruiser of a car. See photo above. Sometimes it stalls…sometimes it doesn’t….

sometimes i can get my kids to look cute and i’ll get a staged photo of them looking like they actually like the damn thing

but in reality….the a/c doesn’t work so it’s hotter than sheet in the dead of summer and it only gets AM radio which works

fabulous on an island because there is only one radio station ……or 2……

and thank the good lord and you have to keep your foot on

brake at all times because if you don’t the car thinks it has full throttle and will move you out of that parking lot

faster then you can say GOONIES.

2. Which brings me to the second point. I’m still working my arse off a few nights a week and last month i worked over and

beyond what is even possible …..but somehow i survived but anyway….

{slow break for some fine boxed wine here…..}

i was working like a rabid dog because in less than 4 weeks the Mr and i are headed to Iceland.

{insert forehead wrinkle}

I get it……you’re all like ….where? seriously…..Iceland?!?

You mean the place where there is Ice? as in….. ICE COLD BEER????

yup

and we can’t wait.

Actually i can’t wait……Bryan on the other hand might not be as excited as me……and the only reason i say this is because

i had to look for his passport the other day and it was expired. So of course being the dedicated wife that i am…….

i sent it off….. expedited service….. hoping we get it in time…….

but deep down i think i know that it was meant to never be found.

……..hmmmm.

Iceland

An island covered in Ice……with no beach chairs in sight?!?

but i’m sort of a cup is full type of girl…..and i’m not going to let all that ice get in the way of seeing Northern Lights

or taking an Icelandic cooking class or sitting at the Blue Lagoon with a hundred other tourists.

Nope……so Ice….i’ll see you in 4 weeks.

Check check double check

3. Bryan still works as a server…….at the nicest hotel on the Northshore…..

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{um no……this isn’t the place……but it’s a close 2nd…….

and to the person that invented the HIS & HER tent….wham bam vodka slam…

i owe you my firstborn child.}

4. Mason and Lola are now in middle school.

{we’ve since bought stock in fine boxed wine}

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5. We haven’t caught the kids smoking any weed yet…..so there might still be hope that we survive this thing called

“move to hawaii for a year but then here we are more than 3 years later…..”

6. They should offer medicinal marijuana to those with broken wrists…..just saying……

7. I ran a 5k over the summer and silent high five fist pump……came in 4th place for my age division.

{no need to tell everyone that there were only 4 ladies in my age group…..nope….no need to mention that}

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8. We lost our house in Illinois.

I mean……it’s still there…..and i’m sure our old neighbors will forever be haunted by the way the yard was overgrown

with weeds {the legal kind}

but after our whole fiasco of having to evict a tenant that had stopped paying the rent and losing an uphill battle….

we really had no other choice to let the house go.

That was one of the hardest things we have ever gone through…..the whole process of losing a house to the F word.

FORECLOSURE

I swear we almost divorced over that…….

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but here we are……still married……still have each other…….and still living this life that God thought we needed.

That’s the important thing……

that and some fine boxed wine

IMG_77839. Have you ever wondered what to do with a house full of furniture that still sits in a storage unit on the

other side of the US?

10. You might not have realized it but Lola’s {mine really} mouse died this year…..

yeah i know…..

a mouse

but seriously people……..if bee’s had knees……Captain Morgan was that knee.

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i found his photos amongst the others…….our favorite Captain…….

which is why i leave you with this beautiful quote……in a book of poems i found……which i just happened to

capture the Captain on one day.

so pour yourself a little glass of fine boxed wine….it pairs well with this post.

two sheets

We had decided unanimously that the family needed to take a family vacation

and go meet my new baby nephew…..

celebrate Mason’s birthday…..

and celebrate my moms one year follow up following her double mastectomy.

Now that i have a job where i work 2 days a week….and Bryan has a hard time getting time away during

any busy season…..we felt like the weekend over Presidents weekend would work out best.

We booked a red eye out on the 14th and a return on the 19th…..which means the kids would only miss

2 days of school…..and Bryan would only miss 3 days of work.

Apparently my job really doesn’t count…so missing two days didn’t factor into the equation.

hmmmph

whatevs.

On Thursday night…..right around the time we were about to hop in the car and head to the airport….

we got a call telling us our flight had been cancelled.

Right away Bryan got on the phone and tried to figure out our best case scenario because let me tell you…..

we don’t live where you can pick and choose how to best get out of here.

{think island …..and middle of the night….}

We found out there was only one flight left that night and it had a connection through LAX and it was

on a completely different airline. The airline we had booked with got us on that flight…which meant we had

to scramble to the airport and try and make it.

Oh….we got there in time……but there was no plane there.

It had been delayed leaving the mainland and now the estimated time for departure was going to be at 2:30 in

the morning.

My kids were thrilled………

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We finally made it on board…..and the kids slept the entire 5 hour flight to LA.

{we fly so much that i have it down to a science …..}

We arrived in LA….but missed our connecting flight due to being delayed out of Kauai…..

so we had about 6 hours to kill at LAX……

so we jumped on the Parking Spot shuttle that happens to be right next to an In & Out…..so we could

get our burger fix.

{gotta love the free parking lot shuttle……just make sure to tip the shuttle driver well}

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While we were there……Bryan ran into an old friend from  his college days….who was visiting with his daughter 

touring colleges for the weekend.

{i’m still trying to get over the fact that some of your friends have college age kids….}

Apparently…..the In & Out on Sepulveda is the place to run into old friends.
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We finally made it to Albuquerque at a little past 7 pm ……but my parents actually live up in Angel fire……

which is a 3 hour drive from the airport.

Which means…..we wasted a whole day because of the flights…..and really only have three whole days

in front of us to spend because it’s really an entire travel day to get back to Kauai.

Oh well…..sheet happens.

Two sheets if you must know the truth.

sheet sheet sheet

……….

The kids woke up at the butt sheet crack of dawn the next morning and before you could say

two sheet

Lola and Fin had their snow clothes on and were ready to go outside and play in the snow.

Thank goodness for kids that have not seen snow for 1.5 years…because it’s like magic i tell you….

just like magic mike for us girls….

snow is like magic mike for kids.

good clean fun

but with gloves and thick pants on.

{thank goodness}

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Bryan and Mason went skiing together that first morning….all day.

They had so much fun together and it was also Mason’s birthday that day…..

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but i just wanted to hang out with the family that first day…..

and get my baby fix.

I introduce you to baby Carter…..

{even though i really think he should have been named Bueller…}

I think he looks like he could easily be one of my kids….and in fact……

since i want another baby…..

{but not going to have one thanks to someone having a vasectomy  minutes after Fin was born….

and of course being the sleep deprived mother to to three kids….i must have somehow signed that

permission slip}

i thought my best allotment of time would be to spend it with the baby and the rest of the family.

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Lola even thinks we should keep baby Bueller Carter…..
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but she decided that she enjoyed playing with cousin Preston even more.

{i think its because he listens to her….}

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Anyhoo anyway……

i thought i would touch on the subject of two sheet since it’s in the blog title and all.

Ever since i was a little kid my parents have had an unhealthy relationship with using toooooo

many squares of toilet paper when you go to wipe and flush.

weird ……for sure

awkward…..yes.

The minute my dad picks us up at the airport…..he has a chat with the kids about how you can only

use two sheets of toilet paper because the house is on a septic tank so anymore then 2 sheet

might not only be disastrous……but downright ugly.

Point noted.

{i’m not stating that this photo of baby Mason had anything to do with this conversation…..}

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{did i mention he is 12 now?! gah!}

We review this over and over with the kids because there is nothing worse then having Grandpa

in a bad mood and having to go out to the septic tank in the middle of winter because someone

{no one came clean…….no pun intended either }

had used maybe three sheets and not two sheets when they wiped their sheet or maybe

some little 7 year old boy sharted and was so scared to use more then two sheets that he hid his 

soiled pants in his suitcase.

true story

Well….someone did use one too many sheets and in the middle of winter on a cold morning….

Grandpa had to go out and work on the clogged septic tank.

Unsaved Preview Document

I won’t lie when i tell you we all hid in different rooms because we were all afraid of the consequences .

……

Back track 6 years…….

My brother and his wife were married in this backyard ………

so think of the movie “meet the parents” with Ben Stiller……

that was our family that day with the septic tank because some guest used more than 2 sheets.

Anyhoo……

back to the rest of our weekend.

Have i ever mentioned that my mom owns the toy shop in Angel Fire?

It makes for some happy kids when Grandma takes them to the shop and lets them pick something out…..

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beautiful abandoned place on the side of the road…..
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Bryan and mason skied for all three days……

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My brother Spencer has a few snow mobiles so he took bryan and the kids out on an adventure…..

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more skiing…..

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i did not ski.

i do

{honest….i do}

but this trip i did not……

i did wait for them at the base of the mountain in the warm bar though….

that counts.

{i did check the best wife in the universe book and it states it right there in chapter 6}

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on our last day…..

which was day three 

{hard to think we were really only there for three whole days….}

my dad wanted to get us all together for a family photo….

so i give to you ……

The Hill Family photo:

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the little kid on the right ……we think he saw a mountain lion.

{unconfirmed at this point…}

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every night we sat around after dinner and played games……

i would have won the card game….

if Bryan didn’t shuffle the cards mid game…..

which is sooo against any card rules ever in the history of the world……

but he did….

and so therefore i lost.

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and then this little guy…..

beautiful……adorable…..and i really did almost eat him he was so delicious…..

but instead tried to find a way to sneak him home.

We had such a wonderful long weekend away…..

and it was so good to be around my family for 3 whole days. We love them.

the mini van from lot 2 aisle 6

I seriously didn’t mean to disappear for weeks on end.

Honest….and i really didn’t eat too many of those blue cheese and onion bites.

{maybe i had a few more then i should have …..}

we have a lot on our plates right now and every time i sit down to write it all out….the words just

jumble all up and nothing comes out right.

So i have a stiff drink or four and then you can’t even understand my jumbled up thoughts so i consider

it a wash and try again the next day but here we are and i’m not able to talk in complete sentences so really

it’s probably better for all of us if i just sit here and drink while letting all of you watch the polls on television.

Bryan and i were able to sneak away to California last week……my mom came and watched the kids for us

so that we might be able to attend my childhood best friends wedding in Los Angeles.

I really didn’t want to come here and write all about our trip because in one of my last posts about our

struggle with money and our house back home ….that had brought on some not needed comments about

what we should or shouldn’t be doing……

but this is my blog….and this is my diary of our life…..

and as long as i sit down to write it all out and you sit down to read it…….

i will be open and honest. 

 i’m all out of fine boxed wine…..so sometimes i’m more open and that could get me in trouble.

We had this tripped planned way before the doom of day hit us so needless to say….many times we went back

and forth as to should we cancel our trip or not…..cancel or not……but in the end it wasn’t about the money

that we would be spending on this trip…..it was about that we needed this trip together.

My best friend since i was 12 was getting married.

This is the girl who when we were 16 years old and out way past curfew……

would help me when i would call home from wherever we were…..and my dad would answer the phone….

i would the one saying…..”hey dad….i’ve got it…..sorry Junie is calling me so late”

then he would say….”hang up the phone” thinking i was in bed but i really wasn’t because i was over

at Junie’s house. So really…..that one reason….along with the fact that she was in my wedding…..

and after being in my wedding……

pretty much promised that she would never never never ever in the history of the world get married ever…not ever.

{maybe i shouldn’t have had all my bridesmaids wear pink taffeta ….hmmmph}

So of course we had to go to her wedding.

and the fact that she was there when Mason popped out of my vagina and scarred her for life.

See……i wouldn’t have missed the wedding for anything.

We used some airline vouchers that we had ….so we pretty much barely spent anything on the tickets to get 

to California…..

and we stayed at my mom and dads beach house that they’ve had for years up in San Simeon.

Needless to say……even though we weren’t stressed about money for  this trip….

the trip just didn’t go smooth right from the start.

First of all…..they ran out of wine on the flight to California.

SERIOUSLY

I AM NOT KIDDING

A FIVE HOUR FLIGHT AND NO WINE

Then we missed our connecting flight through Los Angeles because apparently there was weather over the pacific even though i didn’t see one single cloud in sight…..but our flight was still a half hour late in landing…..

then we had to rent a car and drive up……

which wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that the car we rented was a piece of SHEET

and i’m not kidding when i say don’t rent a car because it’s the cheapest car you can find and the rental car

company lets you pick out any car from their lot of 8 cars.

We picked a mini {van not cooper}….and not because we are cool like that…….

but because we knew we were meeting friends for a day of wine tasting so it would be nice to have a car that

could fit all of us in it instead of us all driving separately and having a bunch of designated drivers vs. just one.

We left the car lot at midnight in Los Angeles and headed north…but not before we grabbed some

In and Out at 12:30 to keep us company on our 4 hour drive up to San Simeon.

You read that right….

In and Out past midnight for our 4 hour drive up north.

We arrived in beautiful San Simeon at 4 in the morning …..climbed right in bed and slept a whopping 5 hours

before getting up and deciding not to waste the only day we would have together before our besties from

Chicago flew in to spend a few days with us.

First stop together on our one day alone……was Target.

I know……sexy right.

I might have even splurged and bought some new panties from Target…..since they were buy 4 pairs get one free.

After we roamed the aisles for 2 hours then headed back out to the mini {van not cooper} so we could

drive over to Trader Joe’s and stock up on some of that two buck chuck we were craving.

We walked up to the mini……and low and behold….someone had hit and run us.

I think between the no wine on the airplane….the missed flight….the not much sleep…and the fact that

i had a double double at midnight…..

the two fangs that appeared when my lip curled up and the twitch i was having in my right shoulder

pretty much told me that this trip might just go down in history as the trip that shouldn’t have happened.

Or maybe it was just another sign not to rent a dodge caravan from the cheapest car lot in LA……not that it was 

the mini {van not cooper}’s fault…..but i believe in faults…..and this mini was going to be a fault.

Officer Shemale showed up and between the biceps and the fact that he/she rode up on a motorcycle….

i knew that we would be well taken care of.

Thank you sweet mary.

We exchanged home phone numbers and i knew i could call him/her with any questions or concerns.

The following day……the stars aligned and all would be right in the world.

Our friends from Chicago had made it……our friends from the bay area had made it……

so we celebrated with lots of wine and great food while lunching at Novu in San Luis Obispo.

I might have had more wine then food…… i think.

After partaking in some non fine boxed wine…….

my friend Alison and i decided to walk across the street and sit in the church that was housed by the 

San Luis Obispo mission.

It was beautiful and quiet.

Then Alison’s phone rang.

twice

she answered it and headed out the back door but not before the lady who was sitting in the front pew

turned around stared me down for 638 seconds.

So i stared right back.

Then she got up and started walking back to me.

I said Sheet twice very quietly and made sure my phone was on silent as she sat down in the pew in front

of me and asked me was i visiting or did i live around there.

Then she went into how she was homeless and all she had were the 2 suitcases sitting outside

and then she asked if i could spare some money so she wouldn’t have to sleep in the hills again tonight.

Sheet

Hit a woman when she’s down. I almost wanted to tell her that we needed money too…..but life has a way

of showing us the dirty when we need to see it up close and personal….so i gave her a $20

{did i really need 10 bottles of 2 buck chuck……}

and she thanked me and walked her way back up to the front to wait till the next girl from out of town

sat down in pew number 16 to reflect on the day.

Friday morning we all got up early……and headed out in the screwed up mini {van not cooper}

and waited till the clock hit eleven and the front door opened up at the very first winery.

It’s sort of a tradition to be the first ones……..

an hour early…..

and all of us standing around at the front door looking at our watches and then counting down the last

ten minutes out loud like a bunch of fun people that we are.


We packed a picnic with us and hit our favorite wineries that we’ve been hitting for years…..

and this year we added a few extra because…..well…..we can handle more wine and also because

our designated driver had just finished a defensive driving class …..so we felt safe.

Even though said driver couldn’t do a three point turn and might have run over a wild turkey that was crossing

the road at the most inopportune time……that said……we still felt safe.


Saturday morning came too quick and we all packed up….said our goodbyes…..and walked out the door

to get in the mini {van not cooper} to drive it back down to LA for the wedding of my best friend.

I wouldn’t miss the wedding for anything said Kasey Buick as she dragged her suitcase behind her

and headed out to the beast of a car.

Flat tire in case you couldn’t tell what that photo up above is.

It’s 9:30 in the morning….we have a 4 hour drive ahead of us and we know what traffic in Los Angeles is like.

10:00: Bryan and his friend Rob try to get the spare tire out from bottom of Mini

10:30 Bryan and Rob successfully find spare tire and unsuccessfully do not get it on.

10:45 Call made to Triple A

11:30 Triple A successfully puts spare tire on but spare tire is a temporary spare that can only be driven 50 miles.

11:33 Kasey starts to cry

11:35 Drive 45 minutes to closest tire shop to get the spare fixed

12:30 On the road to Los Angeles.

4:00 Traffic is at a standstill as we enter Los Angeles.

4:30 Wedding starts

5:00 Arrive at hotel…..run to room…..no time for shower…..brush teeth…change….wash tire grease off hands….

spritz perfume to cover non showered bodies.

5:30 Grab taxi…….

walk into reception which was at the same place as the wedding to everyone seated and watching

us as we saunter in like a couple who obviously missed the ceremony and only wanted to attend 

because of the free booze and food.

But for the first time ever……we really did miss the ceremony because of the worst car in the history 

of the world.

It was one of the most beautiful receptions i have ever been to…..

and i’m not saying that because i’ve only been to a handful of them in the last 10 years…..

but because i love style and i miss what a little style and creativity can do.

My friend had old movies playing on a big screen in the background during the whole reception……

she had mason jars everywhere with candles…..

it was beautiful…even though we missed the ceremony.

So here we are……back home in Kauai……having spent a much needed break away with each other.

Our house back home is still not rented…..and going to California wouldn’t have changed that fact.

I am still working a few evenings a week at a little boutique here in Hanalei……and we have some

major decisions that we have to make in the next few weeks regarding what is next for us.

November is a month that we all need to be thankful….even though it should be a year round event….

and i’m thankful that i have a wonderful family that is healthy and most of all happy.

Life is always going to have ups and downs

that we know

and when we are down….we need to support each other…..

and just because some of us go out of our way to experience life differently then others……

doesn’t mean we still won’t feel the blow of a hard hit.

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