what are the chances

Seriously……

What are the chances that your boyfriend {now husband…cough cough}…….

accidentally forgot to pay for the oil change you sent him to do with your car?

Pretty slim.

What are the chances that a police officer shows up at the door not much later to escort you {not boyfriend because the car is obviously registered in your name} back to oil change place to pay for said service.

Pretty slim. Highly likely.

What are the chances that later that day you introduce your boyfriend for the first time to your parents and 

the first thing your father {the judge} asks the boyfriend is if he’s ever had a run in with the law?

Pretty slim.

What are the chances that your little boy gets into your private stash of KY jelly and uses it in his hair as gel?

Pretty slim.

What are the chances that said child wins best crazy hair that night at his church shin-dig?

Pretty slim.

{actually…..any child that uses KY jelly in his hair should win an award}

What are the chances that you leave your kids outside of Trader Joe’s so that you can just run in to grab a quick 

bottle of wine and you get approached by someone stating that they are from Child Protective Services?

Pretty slim.

What are the chances that your child will find a piece of already chewed up gum at the bottom of a pool 

and put it in their mouth?

Pretty slim.

What are the chances that your daughter gets hit in the head with a coconut?

Pretty slim.

Luckily it was a baby coconut.

Did you know that more people are injured by falling coconuts than by getting bit by a shark?

I’m glad she won’t be getting bit by a shark now.

Phew

p.s. Lola wanted me to tell you that the piece of gum that she found in the pool a few years ago was actually really good…

it was minty.

Comments

  1. Brilliant!!!

    Love minty gum..

    Melissa x

  2. My girls were standing over my shoulder asking all sorts of questions. What is that? Who is that girl? Why is she licking it?

  3. Funny!
    My children loved ABC gum when they could find it! Ha!

  4. Reading your post brought a smile to my face!!!! I really needed it today!!!!! Blessings ,Sara

  5. Bahaha!!! You are cracking me up…fun times…interesting…as I’m reading your blog and commenting…I’m listening to a play list and the Train song “Chances Are” is playing…what are the chances of that?!?! ;-D

  6. There is actually a song that Mike sings that’s really cute “Hit by a coconut”. I should send you the lyrics.

  7. Mary Kaeding says:

    Ha! Last summer I almost got hit by a small cocoanu while sitting on the beach – about the same size as Lola’s. Missed by about 2 inches and made quite a divot in the sand – and scard me good!

    Glad she’s OK.

    Mary in MN

  8. Hahahahaha. That was great.

  9. Niiiiiice. I guess you’re just really lucky? 😉

  10. HA HA HA!! Way to go Lola! I used to love picking gum off the pew at church as a kid. You had to find a soft piece that wasn’t too old though!

  11. Darn coconuts! I about got nailed by a big one the last time I was in the Virgin Islands, as I was walking down the sidewalk, luckily it missed me and hit a passing car instead…lol.

  12. I wanna be pretty and slim :/

  13. Left. Kids. Outside. With. Frog.
    Yep, I’d say slim.

    Thanks for the stroll through Lola B lane.
    Cracking up yet again!

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