deep breath and count to four

 It’s late here on a Thursday night…….a good two weeks since i’ve last posted ….. my earphones are in…..

my music is playing…..and i sit here…..my brain cloudy and my mind full of mush.

1 …2….3….4

I have a lot to say but i don’t really have anything to say at all…….

the words that used to pulse through my fingertips and onto the keyboard are slowly making

themselves more scarce these days and i hold my breath waiting for that beam of light to shine through

and show me the way ….but it seems to be making itself  darker and darker these days……

and for that…..

i owe you an apology.

I’m still recovering from having my kids home for 10 days of Fall break……

which to me is slightly askew because the last time i looked outside there were no leaves falling off of

the trees and there isn’t a pumpkin to be found.

 

 With life there comes changes…..and with changes …

there comes life.

I used to be able to sit down with so much to say…..so much to talk about…..but as each day passes….

i look at my computer and don’t feel the need to log on anymore…..because so much more is going on…..

it’s like the ‘behind the scenes’ in the movies……where we all want to see what is happening but the reality

is that only a few see it up close and personal.

i am tired.

i am spent.

my head hurts at night and i don’t sleep well.

{it’s not the vodka….i swear…..but since i brought it up….have you had coconut vodka???

you can thank me later…..it’s that good.  Amazeballs…..}

We are here on month 15…..and because of this decision to stay one more year…it’s throwing us

a few strong curveballs and they are hard to take in the head because we didn’t put our helmets on in time. 

First of all…our house back home is sitting vacant.

Our tenant moved out a few weeks ago…..

and we’ve been trying to get it rented but with the terms we’ve asked for…..it’s hard trying to find 

the perfect person that fits the mold of only wanting our house for 8-9 months.

We’ve slowly been eating our way through our savings….one little bite at a time….and then comes

 a big chunk…..almost like trying to eat a huge piece of dry tree bark…..

and you cough it up because you have to…..no choice really……it’s that dry and brittle.

All because we decided to stay one more year.

We were lucky enough to have a decent savings…..we were those people that had the emergency fund for 

a very rainy day….and those days are here because it’s been pouring big fat drops on us and we can’t

seem to get ourselves dry for the time being.

We try not to think like that though…..

you know….

the…… “what if we….”

because in the real world….anything can happen……and you certainly can NOT think about the 

what if’s.

You just have to do.

Be present….be realistic…..and make the best decisions for the family.

Life is for living right….that has always been our motto….and we will continue to keep living as long

as the good lord lets us.

or as long as there is a little person with a smile as big as a rainbow to light up the trail and make it

know that little things matter.

they do you know.

little things.

I also had to get a job.

OH SHEET

We really tried as long as we could to make it work so that i could still be at home with the kids…..

but until everything smoothes out a little and we can feel more comfortable with the pounding of

heads even though there is no hammer in sight……

but here we are….and i have a mild chip on my shoulder because this was not part of the plan….

even though there is no plan……

because we all know life is an empty book and the pages are only filled when each day is done and the sun sets

 so it’s just going to have to be.

a half filled book with dog eared pages and smudges because of a chocolate finger that wasn’t licked off

completely.

I had to get a job ……

luckily it’s just a few days a week and i think we can manage that.

{vodka sales might have increased these last few weeks…..}

 Life has a way of being very very good….or very very not so good……

but i think…..

and hope

that over these next few weeks ……the creases will seem to get folded out with the iron…..

the pages of the book will be opened back up….right where they were left off…..

dog eared or not

bookmark hidden in the corner

and a half FULL glass of fine boxed wine right where we left it…..

you know…..

sitting right next to the glass of vodka

{except the vodka glass might be empty…..but don’t look too deep into that thought because it’s not a metaphor….

it’s just the honest truth}

Comments

  1. the pics are beautiful kasey. praying the good Lord finds you the perfect tennants and all the pieces fall into place. proud of you for getting a job. it looks like a cute little shop:)

  2. Stephanie says:

    I enjoy reading your blog and following your adventure. Yes there are many struggles we all have, but you are doing your best to make things work. Until I scrolled down to see that you got a job, I was wondering why you don’t work outside the home. While the kids are in school why not work? These days times are tough for so many and lots of families need 2 incomes. I was fortunate to be home with my sons until they went to school. I love working and my sons always ask about my day at work. Sure I have to juggle many things, get them off to school, go to work, come home and assist with homework, dinner, car pools to practice and games etc. I have always said “Life is for the living”!! You did not say what type of work you are doing…hang in there & good luck!!

  3. fin is growing up and losing his baby fat! we will miss you for another halloween :( and hope your house gets rented with a wonderful family with a 6 and 3 year old!

  4. Well, Kasey, I am so very proud of you, girl. Trust in God and you will live this curve through. Honestly, your kids or your husband will love you for working and you will love yourself more. And we will love you back, cause you know, we will read on your posts, rainy or sunshiny, not out out of curiosity but out of appreciation of who we see through your posts, and of your braveness of sharing little bow tied parcels your life with us. If it matters at all, your posts have guided me through our own family transitions and I will forever be thankful to you for that. I’d love to offer you back some of the heart you’ve given me, so, hey, we’re here! xoxo

  5. Just read about Robin Roberts the other day and read the quote “If you have your health, you have everything”. It really struck home.

  6. “With life there comes changes…..and with changes …
    there comes life.” Love this. Great post. Thank you for sharing your life and your changes. The way you are embracing life and adventure is inspiring. Good luck with your job.

  7. Glad to read your entry today.your words are beautifully written and say so much about you and your family and in turn so many others who are reading about how you have walked through this past year. Life is about changes and my motto has always been, “just keep walking through”. Feel the changes and face them head on realizing that it’s in the valleys that we grow .( that comes from a poem, but, it fits most of life’s challenges) So you had to get a job…so many relate to that , but, I think you’ll be fine with it. We come to Kauai almost every year, so maybe I’ll run in to you. What fun that would be!Take care… you’re doing great!

  8. Kasey you are so brave. I noticed your quietness lately and had been wondering how you are. I am praying that the perfect tennant will pop up in Chicago. If I lived in Chicago it would be such a perfect fit for the place where I am in my life right now. Plus I am sure it is gorgeous. Hoping that you find some peace, happiness, and lots of vodka. Go and get a book deal Kasey. I know a ton of people would buy the book. Heck, you could have a few different books. God didn’t give you this talent, humor and eye for loveliness for nothing. xo
    Kara

    • Kara!
      I feel the same way about Kasey writing a book~or a series of books!
      I totally agree with this statement from you:
      “God didn’t give you this talent, humor and eye for loveliness for nothing. xo”
      Just had to pop back over and let you know how much I love and appreciate you Kasey!
      xoxoxox
      And can I just say~
      The twinkle and JOY I see in the eyes of your children every time I see pics of them living the adventurous life that they do I always think they’ll always look back and remember these days like something out of a fairytale.
      Heart you Kasey!
      xo

  9. Kasey.
    I love this post.
    So real.
    You are amazing!
    You will find the light.
    It is there.
    Keep on SHINING through the cloudy days.
    I heart everything about you.
    Love, Teresa

  10. Hang in there, Kasey. You might just find that having a job opens up new windows in your life. And I think in order to have the life we want, there are going to be sacrifices. Make the most of each moment (that won’t be so hard for you, you wrote the book). I truly hope you rent your home here in Chicago and you never know…things have a way of falling into place. On the upside, you have your beautiful family and you are living in paradise. That would definitely make my glass half full! Keep posting, I miss your sense of humor and hearing about your life, good times and bad.

    XO,
    Jane

  11. Keep your chin up. You live in PARADISE. You are not STARVING. Your kids and husband are HEALTHY. So you had to get a job……most of us are doing that too! Don’t your kids go to school all day? Good luck and I will keep reading

  12. Hang in there!!!

    And then come back here and post more about coconut vodka! ; )

  13. Been there, looking for tenants, paying 2 (once, 3) mortgages. It’s tough. And depressing. I sooo get it.
    My advice is to lower your terms and pull-out all the stops to get people in and paying; better to have less rent than another rent-less month.
    And money saved is money earned. Look at where you could economise at home; might only be a few dollars here or there but I can make 4 family meals for $20!
    And most of all, stay strong and remember that this too shall pass. Hugs.

  14. I couldn’t agree with Paula more. You’ve chosen to stay and live in paradise. It looks and sounds from your posts that it’s just wonderful. Most of us live in places far from paradise and have worked for years. Enjoy your health and family and get that chip off your shoulder. It’s not very becoming.

  15. People can be such assholes. Sorry…. but when you try and write with your heart showing on your sleeve…..they see it as a weakness. Yes… I had to get a job. No… it’s not while my kids are conveniently in school and they will be home alone a lot and it sucks. It’s life and sometimes it’s hard for those of us in paradise too.

    • I will never understand the people whe have such negative things to say to you on your blog! They are just looking for something to knock down. Obviously, most of us that come to your blog GET your sense of humor and your REAL take on life. You share so much and have a real gift connecting with people with your writing. We all feel like we know you so well, even if we will never meet. (Even though I was lucky enough to meet you this summer). We know your strong enough to not let a silly few comments derail you. We know that your post on going back to work was not about “having to work”, but more about the stress of changing up things with Mason, Lola and Fin and working around your hubby’s two jobs and all of that. I found your blog years ago because of the home decor stuff, but I ended up enjoying your other posts about life and all that so much more. I was hoping you would stay another year , even if it means less blog posts, because you and your family ARE living life and I love that!

      • Thank you. It was wonderful meeting you and your family when you were here.

        • There’s a phrase for those type of commenters – ‘green-eyed oxygen thieves’!!!!

          OMG – wish they’d put energy into improving their own day rather than brick batting someone else!

          I wish I could move into your Chicago home Kasey to help you out – but hopefully it’ll work out for someone who needs a short term haven? Hang in there – tough times are tough at the time but we get through it – you have such a great heart and sense of humour – apply it as much as possible and keep those sales of coconut vodka going through the roof – my greta friend who is dieting says a banana = 2 vodka and soda waters!!! I know what I’d go for. (Bananas are so yesterday!!!). xxx

    • No Kasey, you missed my point. I wasn’t being an asshole as you called me, I was trying to sympathize with you. It does suck to have to get a job. There are a lot of things about real life that sucks. Nobody’s kids are conveniently in school at the hours that most of us need to go to work. I love reading your blog. The idea of being able to pick up and move to Hawaii with or without my life savings, is something I would have done in a heartbeat. But when you put your life out there for people I expect that you have to get a tougher skin. Not everyone is going to see you as self-less. Sorry you took such offence. …………………

  16. Can’t believe the hostile comments – guess some people haven’t experienced struggling for money when you are not used to it, I can only imagine how hard that is when you have kids too. Thanks for your blog Kasey I find it very inspiring and you are someone I enjoy knowing even if it is only vicariously. If you have to let a tenant take your house for a year, I am sure you will figure that out too, because you are smart, talented and resourceful. And funny, very funny.

  17. At the end of the day, when you look at the beautiful faces of your kids and husband, that’s all that matters.

    I do believe that in several weeks a lot of the pressure will dissolve and you’ll feel much better.

    And I so agree with one of the commenters above – a book deal would come your way if you want it.

    xo

  18. People can indeed be assholes. That’s why I had to recently add comment moderation on my blog.
    Kudos to you, Kasey, for still allowing those who have nothing positive to say the freedom to say it.

    Hang in there, you’ve got a lot of support out here.
    XO,
    Anne

  19. Jamie Parker says:

    I love your heart….your ability to see the things others miss…the ability to phrase things ‘just-so’ and represent those of us that can’t. I’m lucky enough to know the beautiful person that you are. Your authenticity is to be valued….many of us hide behind a facade…You get REAL with us and you walk your walk….no one should have a word of discouragement toward you unless their footsteps fit exactly in yours. You’re a blessing. The End. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo…and you were expecting that:)

  20. Who’s being an ass and hostile?

  21. becky up a hill says:

    I would never write a mean post. I just would not. Why? I say, ‘God Bless you and your family, as you travel this bumpy road’…People who are unkind, are out there. I’ve missed your blogs, but sure understand why you’ve not written.

  22. I tried to think of something very eloquent to say, because you post deserves a respectful and well thoughout response. The only thing I kept going back to is…does she know coconut vodka tastes really good with Arnold Palmer half ice tea/half lemonade! You are doing what is right for you and your family. Your children look beyond happy and you are giving them an experience they will never forgot and will help shape their future in an incredibly positive way. Hang in there, all will be right with world again before you know it!

  23. Sorry you had to get a job…I know how much you enjoy being able to be home for the kiddos…I hope this is just for a short season & I pray God brings just the right family to rent your home…maybe a family in transition or something and they wouldn’t need it for a full year…God knows just who needs it & I’m praying He brings them quickly! Ummm…Maureen…that Arnold Palmer w/ Coconut Vodka sounds delish!!! Arnold Palmer’s are my fave drink to begin with…you just kicked it up a notch didn’t you!!!

    Blessings sweet Buick family…I’ll be praying for you all.

  24. You are doing what you need to do; taking care of you and your family. Pretty awesome if you ask me! This rough patch won’t last, you’ll move past it, and those that feel the need to be critical can just go play in their own sandbox!

  25. As my amazingly wonderful Grandma always said, “This too, shall pass.” It is such a simple statement but so true. I often think of you and your family as a testament to what it means to live life to the fullest and take risks and you have shown that you guys can do it. I even have told my husband about you and I can say to him, “you know that family that moved to Hawaii…” and he knows I’m talking about your blog – haha. I see you as such a strong woman/mother/wife and I think that you totally have what it takes to get through this. Hang in there, live in the moment and trust that this too, shall pass.

  26. Clearly that was a difficult post to write. Those of us who have read your blog for some time know that you made a lot of sacrifices when you moved. I also know that having to get a job isn’t just about the job. Financial stress is dark and murky. When you are a mom, there are so many other things wrapped up in to it. I had to do it for a while last year and although I liked my job and the idea of having a job, it still sucked and was stressful knowing that I was sacrificing flexibility with the kids. It sounds like you have great support there for that, you’ll be okay. It won’t be forever. Don’t let a few shitty comments get to you. Reality is everywhere and everyone has their own. Things will turn around, they always do.

    And damn you with the coconut vodka…now that I know it exists, I’m off to find some.

  27. thanks for sharing your heart my friend
    you are an awesome wife. an awesome mama & an awesome friend!

  28. Rose D., Frenchtown, NJ says:

    Sending strength and best wishes that things turn around…I truly admire you for taking the risk…You will not regret your decisions!!

  29. I admire you for wanting to be a stay at home mom. I worked all last year and never felt peace with it. My kids are my priority and I know you feel the same way about your kids. I would rather go without then work while the are young. You have done that and I’m proud of you for it. Having said that, when going without means going without the necessities, you need to step up to the plate and you did! Way to go! I love the self reliance attitude. You and Bryan make a great team. You are both smart, hard working, and you love your family. You’ll get through this, you always do! I’ve always looked up to you and your spontaneity. This to shall pass:) you know you can always come live with me! We have a Starbucks now;-) love you lots.

  30. Stay strong, it’s just a job to get you through the rough patch. Hey you may like that time where you are working. Also, even in Paradise there can’t always be perfection. You are very lucky to have had the time home with your kids for as long as you have and they have you as an awesome role model. We as moms (and dads) do what we need to do for our families to survive and yes those smiles make everything worth it. This part was not part of your plan but if it gets you through with this phase so be it. I truly admire you (and Brian) for taking that leap into the GREAT BIG OCEAN and giving your family this amazing opportunity. Stay strong (even though I already think you are) and move forward.
    Lots of love to you and save your extra change from working to treat yourself to that coconut vodka ;)
    xoxo Zizette

  31. Kasey, in all my blogging years I’ve had two nasty comments…and both were after posts that had to do with money. God, I don’t know WHY people feel the need to butt into financial conversations, but when they do it gets downright mean.

    Sorry you’re feeling blue. This was a beautifully written post.

  32. I loved this post. I love all the inspiration and dreamy qualities of your usual posts but this made me feel like we’re friends. (and it may have made me buy a bottle of coconut vodka and let me just say that that is not just a quick run to the liquor store here in the Canadian prairies…it was a whole day of research…but I digress.)
    I hope your job brings you joy and much to write about. I especially hope that you find the perfect renters quickly.
    Those who write negatives to you are those who live with too much negativity to keep it to themselves. On our return from our trip to Africa and time off work…we’ve had a few who’ve made the comment that maybe we should have just stayed home. Are you kidding me? My inspiration for working as hard as we do now is so we can go back! Know that you are right where you need to be right now…looking at the photos of the kids…I can’t imagine they don’t feel the same.
    Wishing you the best, Kasey!

  33. Kasey, you are awesome. You choose to share your heart and that’s pretty impressive in a forum such as this…good for you for being YOU and being honest! Everyone has different circumstances and you always seem to handle yours with grace. What a hard choice that must have been for you to get a job – as a mom, I can appreciate that sacrifice and know it wasn’t easy. Even if it was necessary. I’m so sorry that you guys are going through this “bump” in the road. I hope that you’ll get back on that road to paradise soon! ♥

  34. Kasey, I sure identify with this post. You are a great mom, doing the best for your family. Hang in there. Hope you find that perfect renter!

  35. Don’t ever stop believing…or blogging! :)

  36. Praying for you and your beautiful family. I understand financial stress and it’s hard road to travel. May God Bless your family during this difficult season. Remember it IS just a season.

  37. I have a girlfriend that was harping on me from the time Eloise was 6 weeks old to go back to work…but you know what? It was none of her f-ing business. Just because she didn’t plan on staying home with her child, it felt like she wanted me to make that same choice in my life. Here is the reality: We all make choices on how we want to live ideally and how we want to raise our kids. You have made tremendous sacrifices to give your kids and your family an adventure. Things are coming up that weren’t in “the plan” and instead of self-destructing, you are moving forward and making the appropriate changes (like getting a job), so when someone says “well, we live in a shitty part of the country, and I have worked since my kids walked out of my vagina” it doesn’t mean anything. Just as you have made choices, so have they….just because they CHOOSE to work and live somewhere awful doesn’t take away from how you are feeling. Thanks for sharing. I love your post and I am going through something similar right now too. I feel ya girl.

  38. Kasey,

    I had to read your blog after your FB post. First, I love how you share your life and your thoughts through poetic storytelling tht is filled with beauty, truth, and humor. Ironically, it is this very gift that angers the naysayers and those who have yet to learn how to eloquently carry their own burdens. You carry yours with such grace, it is difficult not to envy and admire your ability to put a beautiful (and very funny) spin on life. Unfortunately, some people, instead of having that envy morphe into admiration, they become overtaken with jealousy. We all have our challenges, our burdens, and joys as we travel along on our individual journeys…pay no attention to those with little minds … they should take up no space in your generous soul. In closing, I have two very important words: COCONUT VOLKA!

  39. Kasey…hang in there honey. Working sucks ass when you have little ones whether they are at school all day or not. It limits yor ability to spend time with them and it sucks energy from you. Having said that, you and Bryan need to be commended for saving and being able to get you this far. Those women up there need to be reminded that your husband lost his job in a hard economic time and that is how you landed in paradise. You guys are doing an awesome thing with a not so awesome situation.

    • Working for the sake of your family is something to be proud of. Situations change and we have to know when to adjust. You are living an adventure with and for the people you love. No judgement…keep on keepin’ on & for goodness sake’s keep on loving the life you have had the courage to enjoy!

  40. Can’t wait to see you in a week to give you big hugs. I will probably break you in half though since you’re so skinny now :). This too shall pass.

  41. Although we don’t “know” each other, I feel like I “know” you through your blog…which I adore and am so, very thankful for. Although we are kidless, my hubs and I recently had a similar life-turn, though ours meant leaving Hawai’i to make it more possible to actualize our dreams. We are now San Dieg-ans, and are “learning to fly” every day. When you say “Life if for living right,” I say “AMEN!” We recently make a huge decision to not bring any work home in the evenings or on the weekends (we are both teachers)…wowzers! One seemingly simple decision has opened up a world of positivity for us! Okay, I’m on a tangent. WHat I wanted to get to in this comment was this: We are coming Kaua’i and staying in my mom’s timeshare in Princeville over Thanksgiving time (which was our tradition when we lived on O’ahu…always hopped to Kaua’i for Thanksgiving). We happen to live frightening close to Trader Joes right now, who just released their various wonderful Fall line of all things pumpkin. If it would brighten this phase of your life, I would be honored to deliver any variety of yummy Fall treats to you and yours. Just my way of thanking you for your wonderful blog, which blesses my life by re-connecting me to the islands. Let me know if you are in need/want of anything from Joe. My treat.
    Aloha!

    • I would love to finally meet you;-) We will actually be in California for my best friends wedding in a few weeks….so i’m bringing an extra suitcase to fill up on some T.J.’s.

  42. Life hits everyone hard sometimes, so hard that even being in paradise doesn’t make it feel much better. I love your honesty and the way you lay your truths out for us to see ….as I read your words my head nods Yes yes yes…thank you for the gift of honesty and even when you say you have nothing to say…even that is something big. I get it, I think we all do..

    xo
    Barbara
    Shabby Cowgirl

  43. Life may have thrown you a curve ball, but I know that you will keep your eye on that ball and beam it out of the park. There is not a day I don’t think of you and your family (not in a crazy stalker way) and applaud the courage that got you to where you are. You are living life in an amazing place with your amazing family. You took a chance and you will never regret it. Struggle you might, shed a tear or two for sure, but regret never. I hope that one day I can find your courage and live the life I dream is out there.
    Don’t ever stop writing. You inspire. You make people laugh. You have a voice and people want to listen, even when it is speaking softly or not at all.

  44. I, too, missed the negative comments!! If saying “ok, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do” is negative then you’re a prima donna extrodinaire–which I doubt. Gad, I’d be tearing my hair out if I stayed home, lunched w/ the ladies and shopped all the time. Puleeeeese!

  45. I’m sory to hear about the change in finances. I’ve had to deal with that a few times in my life. I know it takes a toll worrying. When I was young my parents went through a very difficult time. My mother had to go to work. This was at a time most moms didn’t work. When I got to high school women’s lib was in full swing. Girls were saying they weren’t going to stay home and bake cookies. I remember thinking, well as a kid I WANTED a mm to bake cookies. Maybe if they were a latch key kid they’d have a different opinion. But as I got older that experience actually helped me accept ya just gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes. Your children are seeing by your example your a survivor. Down the road when life throws something unexpected their way they’ll do what they have to do too. It’s the pits when the rug gets pulled out from under us. Some call it a learning experience, if so I should be a genius. Just remember this is temporary.

  46. I read some of SHELLEY’S blog about the teacher in Africa at: http://www.thevanbinsbergens.blogspot.com/

    Food for thought……….

  47. Actually, I reread your post and then comments to find these “negative oxygen suckers” (!!)

    One commenter states that people that say negative things don’t “get you”. Well she is right. I don’t get you!! I saw that you said you were recovering from having your children home for 10 days. Then you were so blue because you have to work for two days out of seven. Did I get the idea that your husband was working two jobs?? what the??

    Oh sweetie, you really are out of touch with most people in this world. You were SO lucky to have been in a position at one time to SAVE money so that you didn’t have to go to work. Do you feel your luck has run out? You still have savings–that’s more than many have.

    Did your renters move out before they were supposed to? That would be a huge blow and I don’t blame you for worrying but really, now. If you had KNOWN their lease was up and you made the decision to stay in Hawaii….sigh. And if you are planning to be in CA for a wedding…(shopping at Trader Joe’s, drinking coconut vodka)–things can’t be all THAT bad.

    Every once in a while we need a pity party. I think today was your day.

    • Wow, you are making an awful lot of assumptions about Kasey’s financial circumstances. When it comes to a persons finances, things are rarely black and white, sure she has given us an outline of her circumstances above but do you honestly think that this is the equivalent of her providing her bank statements to be analysed?

      As for the wedding, we are in a very tight situation financially at the moment and have just had a family wedding that has made a huge dent in our monthly budget that we really could have done without but what was the alternative? For us to not attend? For my husband to miss his brothers wedding? Unfortunately things like this crop up which are supposed to be joyful happy occasions but, for those of use who are struggling, they bring stress and worry. We had to make big sacrifices elsewhere in order to be able to attend and I don’t just mean cutting back on treats.

      And “Oh sweetie” – How patronising!

      • Just putting it out there, the wedding she is attending is her friend’s not a relative. Also no one is obligated to go to a wedding. I believe that if you can’t afford to go you shouldn’t go, if the person who’s having the wedding is still insisting or feels offended then they are honestly not thinking about your well being.
        I would suggest Kasey to stay home and save up (the family can’t even afford tickets back home) rather than spend money on a trip to Cali to watch a friend get married. Priorities need to be straight if they’re gonna make it through this tough period. I wish her and her family all the best, and hope they can get back on their feet. Until then enjoy each other and stay safe.

  48. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Kasey–As far as being able to rent your house in Chicago–I’m wondering if there would be some big, international companies that you could contact? I live here in Indianapolis where the Lilly (big pharmaceutical company) headquarters is located, and there are always people from Lilly from other parts of the world coming into town on a temporary basis to work on projects. I’m fairly certain there is a person or people in Lilly’s HR department whose full time job it is to assist these people in transitioning here, including finding housing. Many have wives and children and so need a bigger home. Might be worth a shot?
    And thanks for your heartfelt post–I am among the many admirers of your blog. And for the few negative posters…they certainly hide behind there anonymity of the blog world. I would bet a wallet full of cash, that if they were standing in front of you, they wouldn’t have the courage to say such nasty things. Pitiful cowards, they are. There are no other words. Looking forward to your next post! :) Elizabeth

  49. Never, ever, ever apologize for living your life instead of writing your blog. Ever. You are a person, not a machine. May your friends, your family, your purest joy of being on this earth be your umbrella in this rain storm of life. Peace, love, and VODKA!!

  50. Chris in FL says:

    ((((hugs))) I don’t get some of the bullies who comment. Seriously. Why do they even read…..to criticize? I guess that’s why they’re called bullies.

    Praying you have great grace during this season of trying times and that you find a renter for your house. :) Hang in there.

  51. Keep your chin up, Kasey. Usually when things are going like it sounds they are, really good things are just around the corner. Keep the faith!

  52. Thank you for your honesty! Hang in there friend! I get it. I do not even have kids and still do not really have a normal “job.” It is a blessing but also a choice. Because you chose to be home with your kids, when money is tight, you can work…for this tight season. I see that as a wise financial choice! Love keeping up with you in the good times and bad! Thanks for keeping us in the loop! xo

  53. Keep writing. Keep chronicling. Keep photographing. Keep breathing.
    It’s all good. :)

  54. I said a little prayer for you Kasey.
    Thanks for being so real, I have always loved that about your blog.
    Working does suck…I hate that I have to leave “my little” in daycare every day.
    Many blessings to you and your family.

  55. Kasey. Love this blog. Your pictures are fabulous! Best of luck with your job. I too went back part time after 18 years of being home raising 5 kids! It was hard but the money does help in this economy. Keep blogging! You make me smile!!

  56. Ugh! Some people. I think it sucks to be in a bad financial situation, no matter what the dollar amount. We, every single one of us reading this is wealthy compared to how some live. We all have rich people problems! But the fact remains, money sucks, and I wish we had more of it. But I believe that when money is short you have two ways of looking at it. And I really admire what you and your husband are doing. Putting on your big girl panties and dealing with it (well maybe not your husband). I have been in financial straits before and I didn’t handle it the way you did. I did he opposite. I cried, and pouted and them cried some more, and kept on crying. And then I’d stop an eat, and then go right back to crying. And then I’d scream and cry and then cuss and cry and curse certain people. And then eat and then cry and sometime I’d eat and cry at the same time ( a talent, I know). And I’m still here, still a stay at home mom and I’ve grown a bit and matured a bit and I’m more appreciative. And of course I give all glory to God, because his grace is more than enough.
    Hang in there. Just part of life. I appreciate your honesty. Its good for the soul. Not to mention how awesome it was to see some of your readers come to your defense!

    Vicki

  57. I love this post…it bring the reality of your situation to those of us who are jealous of the way you’ve been able to live your life for the past year. Yet, even though I’m jealous, I do remember that the whole reason you went to Hawaii in the first place is because your husband lost his job and couldn’t readily find another one in his field. You were one of the families directly affected by the recession, so for anyone to think that you don’t live in the real world is misguided. Yes, you were smart enough, while your husband made a good living, to sock some money away in case something, LIKE A JOB LOSS, were to happen. When it did, you weren’t lucky to have a savings account, you were smart and prepared.

    Your post, to me, didn’t come off as whining. It came off as being real…the kind of conversations I have with my friends when we vent and then realize that as long as our kids are healthy and happy, nothing else matters. But still, we vent.

    And as far as recovering from having your kids home for 10 days, I didn’t take that to mean that you were recovering because it was awful having them home. I took it to mean recovering, as in getting back on schedule and in the groove.

    There will always be people who are looking to pick apart your words and stir the pot. Hey, at least you have a lot of people who come to your blog. You could easily start putting ads up and make enough money to not have to work. You could also freelance write. I wrote you about this when you first moved to Hawaii, but I never heard back so I figured you had other things going on.

    A jumble of thoughts, I know. But one final thought: you could probably just rent the house for an entire year and be nomads for a few months until the lease expires. It sounds like you have so many people in Chicago who adore you and would love to take turns hosting you next fall. I know it’s not ideal, but not having to worry about that mortgage is huge.

    I hope you don’t stop making this sort of post here. I think it adds a great balance to all your wonderful Hawaii tales. The reality of your situation (yes, we have struggles, even in paradise) would actually make a much more compelling book than just 300 pages of “everything here is hunky dory.” There’s something different here.

    Good luck with everything!

  58. Luanne Christensen says:

    I’m really disturbed by your critics to this post. First off, thank you for being honest and open. It helps me (and others, I’d assume) to grow.

    Second off, please know that you have every right to just flat-out delete, and not respond to, their posts. There is no need, whatsoever, for them to take up any more space in yoru life that your initial read. You owe them nothing as an explanation as to why you delete them. (And even less to explain your position to them.)

    And again… thank you for your posts.

  59. wow – just wow – to all of it

    i get it – its your blog you can say whatever you want – well people comment and say whatever they want

    and if we can’t say something nice well then we shouldn’t say anything at all

    so…..

  60. Its okay to gamble and lose. I am cheering for you. The rain will not last forever! I am not going to quit loving you and your family. You will make it! I rent to losers and they always pay us. Losen up your requirements for renters and take a chance on someone you believe in! Just like I belive in you. Love will save the day! We failed over and over again then we won! You will too. You are amazing people. I have rented out property for 12 years and I have never missed a rent check. Rent from yout heart!

  61. I have followed your blog faithfully for several years and defended you in the “Wedding Crasher” incident. But no longer! You had to get a job? Boo hoo! I can’t feel sorry for you. I have a job, kids, husband, home, an affinity for vodka, and oh yeah, am working on my master’s degree. Grow up. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions, you decided to move to paradise without a plan, now you have to live with the consequences. I’m sorry that working out all day while the kids are in school and having cocktails on the beach are getting in the way of real life. Christ woman! Be a positive example for your kids. Hard work goes so much farther in their eyes than “hanging out with cocktails”.

  62. Wow, the last comment is just shocking to me. Why are people so dang mean?

    I loved this post. The writing is great. I hate that you all have encountered a few bumps in the road. But, it will all iron itself out, hopefully, soon.

    Blessings to you and your family!!!!

  63. For crying out loud…literally. I’m right there with Amanda, just the job portion ..not a big supporter of the whole wedding crash incident.
    As I too read your column, crying about having to get a job..in Hawaii…3 ..4 days a week? …maybe missing dinner a few nights? was beyond any sympathy at all. I mean zero sympathy.
    I have a new found description for people like you who whine about really insignificant situations…
    “1st world problem”. Says it all.
    Get some healthy perspective girl. Life could have thrown you a much harsher reality than simply, can’t rent your home for a pretty penny to pretty people and you have to work a few days a week. Those are little bitsy baby bumps in the road. A job will not kill you. Remember… 1st world.
    Fellow readers, feel free to comment on my opinion…putting it out there is a risk we all take.

  64. Why shouldn’t you complain a bit? You didn’t want to get a job … you had to get a job … so you went out and got a job. Good for you! I remember going back to work when I had little kids and I hated it. I wanted to be home with my kids. I did it because I had to. I think you deserve congratulations for doing what you didn’t want to do. You’re a good mom and wife.

  65. so I started to read the comments cuz I wanted to see a good ol’ fashion cat fight. I’m a guy and my sister told me about this site cuz I live on Kauai. Well ladies, the majority of you have just proven Naomi Wolf’s beauty myth…you’re all bitches (I said majority, not everyone of you). Just cuz she’s living in Kauai with her family and enjoying life doesn’t mean that you all have to get down and start giving her advice and writing comments like “welcome to real life”. Most of you don’t know her or her situation. Just cuz you too like Anthropologie doesn’t mean you and Kasey are bff’s. Stay outta people’s business and go back to your boring lives, sitting on your fat asses while reading Fifty Shades Grey cuz it’s the only excitement in your life. Aloha Beeeyyyyyaaattches!!!!

    • JP, I do believe you hit that nail square on the head.

      Kasey, this is your life. You can do with it, feel about it and talk about it however you please. Don’t let other people ever stop you from that. I get it and am rooting for you.

  66. stephanie says:

    jp made me lol

  67. This is YOUR blog about YOUR life. Hope you keep writing!

    JP – :)

    I never understand why people are critical of other people on blogs…just find another to read that you enjoy. There are so many out there.

  68. Breath taking photo bucket…sea breeze..

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