it’s still a good life

I’m trying to be optimistic right about now…it’s hard…and being honest…it’s stressful.

I have a feeling down in the pit of my stomach in which i can not quite explain….but it’s wrapped up in a

huge old knot just waiting to be untied.

Everything…so far…

had eerily been going to plan.

But i am drained……and mentally i feel like unravelling…..and life right this very second is just passing by

for some reason with no direction as we try and focus on our next chapter.

The house rented in five days…we had two interested parties in in….

and we went for the young family…knowing they are the ones we could see in this house that we have lived in

for the last four years. Seriously…i can’t believe we have lived here four years…it seems like we just

moved in and in that time span…we’ve met some pretty amazing people.

The house is rented and the newbies take it as of July 18….which is only two months away.

Two months.

I walked with my head down and my frown on my face when i went into the kids school last week

and dis-enrolled them. My heart was heavy and i wanted to cry…..

but i just know that this next step is going to be amazing…and i just have to keep digging that little

piece of hope out of my pocket every time i start feeling the pressure of weight coming down on me.

I know that.

I know what we are about to do is crazy….

and we might fall flat on our feet in the process…

but it will only make us stronger in the end.

We bought our one way tickets to Kauai….we fly out on July 27th….with just enough time to settle before

the kids start their new school on August 1st.

The kids are ecstatic that they will be going to the same school that Bethany Hamilton went to….

she’s the girl that movie and book ‘Soul Surfer’ is based on.

I registered the kids yesterday for the new school…via $28 worth of faxing all the papers.

We fly out from California….because we have to get our car there….and since we need to have

a vehicle …….our mini {van not cooper} will be cargo shipped from Oakland to Kauai…..so that means when

we leave here on the 18th…we will be road tripping all the way across to Cali. We will go thru

and stop in Colorado….see all of our old friends…then to Utah….stay there…see more friends….

till we finally reach Cali…and put the car on the ship.

We will sell Bryan’s car and figure out a  way to ship the scooter over.

Little strings…which are dangling all over…but need to be tied up…and there is not much time….

but there is.

I’m trying to relish in the moment here yet excited to be in a new moment there.

Fear and anxiety has taken over…..but in between those two….there is calm…

{really it’s just called pinot grigio}.

so…i thank you for letting me write it all down…..

these are the days…in which our life here is coming to an end….

{at least for now}

and our new life is about to begin.

But before it can begin…..every moment…every smile….and for sure…every tear that is being shed…

all has to get wrapped up….a photo taken of it…then it is taped into my album and labeled…

“it’s still a good life”

So…with that being said….i am going to go pour myself a cup of coffee.

{black please…no sugar}

Comments

  1. As exciting as a new adventure is ~ it is still change and that can be so so hard. It’s all about leaving your comfort zone and things that you know and love. This new chapter is full of the unknown right now but what an opportunity you have Kasey ~ I cannot wait to hear all about it! Chin up ~ there will be good days and bad until it is time to say goodbye….. xo

  2. I can relate. We are moving to San Diego in September.

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this and the process. I have lived in Illinois all my life but always wanted to move. Now we may have the opportunity to relocate and I want it so bad but am suddenly terrified. Reading your post made me feel a little better. Good luck to you. Great things are on the horizon and I cant wait to hear about it!

  4. I’m praying for y’all. Two of my everyday favorite comfort food passages are Isaiah 40:28-31 and Isaiah 41:10. : ) Julie M.

  5. Oh how I feel for you. These are scary times – all this uncertainty when we, as a society are meant to adhere to routine and order. All I can say is that you and your lovely family can do this – you are surrounded by love and support and possess a brilliant sense of humour ( essential in all walks of life!). Just take each day at a time – corny, I know but oh so true. Don’t forget to take time for lots of hugs and before you know it, you’ll be in your new place, kids happily installed in their new school and you will smile to yourself as you acknowledge that you made it!

  6. adrienne says:

    God closes doors (Brian’s job) and opens new ones (Hawaii). You are one who sees that and doesn’t miss it. Yay for you!! It will all work out as its should. Cheers!

  7. Thinking of you..having moved as a kid and adult, that pit in the stomach is so much a part of the deal. The good-byes, the “last times,” the paring down of stuff, the fears, the anxieties…so very part of it all. The experience you are giving your family for a year is amazing…and they’ll never ever forget it. Keep sipping the pinot, let the tears fall as they may, wear the shades when you need to, and know you are surrounded world wide by those who are thinking about you!

  8. adrienne says:

    Oh, and one thing that really helped me during a scary move was thinking “I can always come back home.” I didn’t ever go back home, but made a new one. But that thought kept me calm.

  9. What you’re doing is amazing and inspirational. Seriously, I want to have the guts to live this adventure called life as you and your family are living it. Thanks for sharing it will all of us…can’t wait to read the next chapter! Thinking of you:)

  10. I saw that you were moving, but missed the location. Wow! What takes you to Hawaii?

  11. It is always scariest in the middle of closing one door and opening another. I have been there many times and while the new door has all the excitement and anticipation is is sooo hard to close that other door. May God give you peace and comfort during this time and a lot of black coffee… no sugar.

    Hope to be able to meet you with Leah this weekend.

  12. I think this is going to be such an awesome experience for your kids! They already look like beach kids, I can totally picture them in Hawaii all sun tanned wearing flip flops:) Moving is hard but you’ll be taking all your blog readers along with you (I hope). I read all your posts but don’t comment too often, you really helped me to decide that next summer my husband and I are moving to FL no matter what…no matter how terrified I get to leave the state I’ve been in since I was 14 we’re doing it!

  13. Don’t be scared. The world is small. There are really blessings in disguise, and you are setting out on an amazing adventure.

  14. Thank you so much for writing Kasey. We are moving and had to give our cat away this week. Lots of tears this end too. It’s hard but worth it I hope! Hope you enjoyed your coffee! Emma.

  15. Hang in there, Kasey! We’re cheering for you, you know!!!

  16. I am so excited for y’all but understand your fear. Just enjoy the ride and take it all in. It will work out.

  17. Closing one chapter…beginning another:) I can only imagine the “roller-coaster” of emotions you’re feeling! Offering you & your family warm wishes and a reminder: just take it one day at a time:) And if I get to meet you this weekend, Kasey, I’ll give you a big ol’ hug!

  18. I don’t think I have ever commented on your blog, but I loved this post. We are going through some changes ourselves and this post was perfect for me. I will be thinking of this all day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  19. Thank you for sharing these hard moments in your life. From all that I have read in your blog, I think you will never regret this decision to change your life so much. You are strong for your children, comforting to your husband and truthful with your friends. I hope you have an amazing adventure this next year. Don’t forget to take pictures of the cute ones. There is no reason everything has to change……

  20. When God closes a door,he opens a window. You will be okay, because you are doing what is right for your family.

  21. It *is* a good life.

    When things are unknown they are scary. You don’t know what waits for you in Hawaii – but you can get hints from the excitement of your kiddos, from the blessing of your house renting so quickly, from planning a cross-country adventure to visit old friends.

    You’re living an adventure! Take a million photos, and relish in each moment. You will cherish these memories. Promise. 🙂

  22. I can’t imagine how scary that is, but golly-bum, I’m SO EXCITED to read about it! Please blog 20395784 times a day. So exciting!

  23. You’ll all be the new haoles in town, but you will be welcomed with much Aloha. Are you guys shipping your car via Matson? We have been there done that. The longshoremen there can be quite a hassle. So to prep you, just make sure you have everything out of the vehicle and that there are no nicks or cracks in your windows or they won’t ship it.

    I hope you go out with a bang and have an awesome party before you go. What an adventure you are about to embark on. How exciting! I know I would be riding on Xanax the whole time just so I didn’t lose my mind fearing the change. Remember, though. This is not new territory. And you still own your old territory. Embrace today. It’s what tomorrow’s memories are made of.

    Oh, and develop a taste for poi and lomi lomi. NUMMY!!!!!! I think I will be making some kalua pork today. I’ve had it with this craving.

  24. Hi Kasey, This will be a wonderful new experience for you and your family! Have fun and enjoy.
    xo,
    Sherry

  25. I think this adventure was meant for you guys. No matter how much a person hides on a blog people can see the spirit in a person after months of reading. I see a spirit in you that is meant for this journey. I know. Bla Bla Bla Bla. I dont know you. But I do think this is a dream for so many people and your making it a reality. Your kids are young and this is the time to take this opportunity. You have the rest of your life to do something “everyday ish”. This is extrodinary… It’s going to be tough to say good bye to those you love – friends but they will always be there . I think it is great that your house will still be there should you decide you like the idea of coming back.
    Breathe…. Enjoy…. Take each step as it comes….Enjoy your wine……. … You seem to be meant for this Journey!!!!

  26. Kasey, I read this and understood the depth of all the fear, anxiety, anticipation, sense of loss, and yet yearning to start for what’s ahead and the wonder of it all. It is good to feel all of it, and be honest with your emotions. There are days when you’ll feel super duper strong and the change is exhilarating, and maybe some others where you’ll feel unsure about it all. All the details are coming togethere for you guys, and so trust in those things and you know there is a Greater HE who is already on the other side of Hawaii just ready to unfold all He has for you, God Almighty.

  27. Hey girl- Think of it like being induced to give birth. The night before, you can’t sleep because you are thinking “OMG- this is gonna hurt like hell. What the heck did I get myself into?” But you KNOW it’s gonna be all good after some intense pain. Since you have given birth 3 times, you can relate, I am sure. I am having similar feelings myself- but it’s just because I enrolled in an intense body-shaping 10 week boot camp- 6 days a week. 🙂

    I wish I was coming for your sale……..

  28. you know I JUST did all of what you are about to do
    if you want to talk ever, like, in real life…call me
    e mail and I will give you my number
    because I KNOW what you are feeling
    all those strings that you need to tie up…ANXIETY like never felt before

    but look at me…I am proof..you can do this…

  29. Dear Kasey,….

    In your corner cheering for you and sending you really big hugs today!

  30. Kim Wilson says:

    so i’m not a regular poster; but i enjoy a break from work now and then with all your musings. guess i was compelled to offer a little *hooray* for you which is funny because i’m about as risk adverse as they come. there’s a song called “head full of doubt/road full of promise” by Avett Brothers. it’s a beautifully moody song that even if it doesn’t tie exactly into what you are feeling, none the less has some inspired lyrics. since you’ve shared your appreciation of songs along the way, i thought it might be worth a listen. it takes a lot to step into a dream from reality. actually making the decision has to be 1/2 the battle and one a bizzillion people (like myself) might never try. should you decide down this road you need a new dream well then big whoopiedoo, you’ll have time to discover one while beauty surrounds you and the love of you and your husband surround your kids. life tends to change whether you think you have it all planned out anyhow. you gotta figure this might be more fun right?! what is that saying: shoot for the moon, for even if you fall you’ll land among the stars….. consider all this some darn fine target practice 😉
    happy travels!

  31. You can do it friend! it WILL be amazing! 🙂

  32. There just the annoying little minutia that bog you down from enjoying the thrill. They’ll be over soon and you can focus on the ride. It’s going to be a wild one. But, like you said, you’ll all be stronger for it. And it will be everything you’re after. Memories you’ll never forget in your book about LIVING.

  33. “Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all”

    It will be fabulous! It will, once you go through these emotions, and you are on that plane, the adrenaline will be pumping.

    I for one hope to teach my kids that life is about taking chances, and knowing the right time to do that. This seems to be yours 🙂

    Can’t wait to read about your adventure…until then, there is nothing wrong with a little Pino 😉

  34. Marlene says:

    The butterfiles are SOOO perfectly normal. You are leaving to live and once you start the new chapter…those butterflies are going to flutter away…but only till the next “something” and it is the “somethings ” in life that keep us alive…and writing…and sharing…and laughing. You will be perfect. The family will be perfect. And as we know…its the mama that sets the tone…so go back to your “liveing life” excitement and lead the way!!

  35. Well, I don’t know you but feel like I do. I grew up in Wheeling and finally got my nose pierced about 5 months ago… See? We’re kindred spirits! You write so beautifully and with such honesty that I felt the need to send out a virtual hug today. Change is hard but so exciting. I’m (quite) a bit older than you and so envy the fact that you’re taking chances and really living your life – something I wish I did more of when I was younger. This is going to be a fantastic journey for you and your family. Enjoy every minute!

  36. you are doing it! the lady above me has sent you a virtual hug, and so now i am sending you a virtual slap in the face! you are gonna be living a dream! it’s going to be so tough but so very worth it! i know you know that i just wanted to send a cliche cheerleader message. i can’t wait to see pictures! xx

  37. Well, my dear. My change is not nearly so dramatic as yours, but I feel some of what you are feeling. The anxiety, the hope that the change will be a good one. I think you are creating an amazing memory for your family, and I hope you all embrace it fully. As for driving through Utah..I certainly hope that you will stop and see us. After all, we’ve done that to you a few times! -pretty please with sugar on it? or er, black please, no sugar as the case may be. 😉

  38. i’m certain there are tears and nerves and fear all knotted up in there
    but
    ya’ll are going to have a blast!
    you’re going to live a year that most of us can only dream of!!
    i’m so excited & proud of you and for your bravery!

    xoxo

  39. I cried as I read your post today, cried because I so strongly identify with your feelings. My leaving time is a little further away but I’m still feeling overwhelmed, inadequate for the tasks ahead of me, afraid that this beautiful plan will all come crumbling down to flatten me. But then the sun came out today, and I went for a drive in the country, and made myself strong coffee, and I feel better. I’m focusing on doing “one little thing.” That’s it. And I can do that. Big hug to you as you soldier on and waffle between grief and excitement. xo

  40. There is a saying which I like a lot… The darker the night, the nearer the dawn….. and by the sounds of it your dawn is shaping up to be fabulous!

  41. I would love to see you/finally meet you in person when you stop in Colorado! I hope your sadness about leaving turns to more excitement about your next chapter. Either way, hang in there and know you’re in my thoughts…you are one of the few people who can make me LOL for real haha! ~destiny

  42. NikkiMoon says:

    I find myself almost jealous of you courage . The idea of a brand new chapter for me sounds wonderfully awesome right now. We did it once back 3 children ago and lived it for 2 years before I crumbled and wanted my old life back. Now 12 years later I find myself daydreaming of how things could have been had I stuck it out or if I were to ever take the leap again could it be successful now that I am older and wiser. I am so excited for you and ours!

  43. Kasey, a heartfelt post. I dwell on what Christy said “You’ll all be the new haoles in town, but you will be welcomed with much Aloha”. On the positive sides, you are going to a country which is English speaking and the Hawaiian culture will be fascinating and a wonderful opportunity to understand a new culture.

    I do understand your fears. You are uprooting five beautiful flowers and transplanting them on Hawaiian soil. You will all grow, blossom and yield fruits of the finest. We look forward to seeing you dance he hula dance on the white sandy beaches of Hav-a-ii

    Aloha and Mahalo

  44. Thanks for sharing your heart and thoughts…. naked and honest. I especially enjoyed all the uplifting responses… When ever I have felt that tug of war, it has brought me to my knees…. and perhaps that is exactly why it is so scary. Feeling a bit out of control, and vulnerable… is like saying ” God help me”… It’s all good. take courage my strong niece, the same God that has blessed you thus far, is calling you and will never stop. I know you guys will be fine wherever you go, because you have each other, an awesome and strong family makes for happy travels.

    Jeremiah 29:11

    I prefer Cabernet though a good pinot grigg is okay for chicks.. haha, kidding.

  45. I am a baseball fan and a friend gave me a gift to set on my desk which says…. “you can’t steal second —if you keep your foot on first”

    reading your post made me think of it ————- you are headed for second base — and you’ll make it ———– home is where your family is – -and what a lovely family you have

  46. i understand completely. all those little details are soooo overwhelming. that giant leap of faith although scary will be amazing. just keep focusing on that and everything else will fall in place.

  47. This is such an exciting time, but also stressful. It’s good you’re recording these moments to look back on.

    Blessings to all the Buicks. Ü

  48. Aloha! I empathize with you entirely! My husband and I are surrounded by boxes, but we are on our way OUT of Hawai’i nei. I am so sad to be leaving here… My sense of calm? Pinot Noir…hehe.
    ALOHA

  49. In June we are moving from Las Vegas to Illinois. Most of the time we are so excited and we know it’s going to be a great place to raise our family. But there are moments that are absolutely miserable. Saying good-bye to wonderful friends is the absolute worst!! Taking apart a house I love stinks too. But I just have to press on and focus on our exciting future. Anyway, enough about me….:) I’m just trying to say, I feel your pain!!!

  50. I’m so relieved…
    to know that you have these feelings…
    that you are scared like me.
    But I too know that it will be amazing.
    All you need is love.
    And wine.
    Thank you Kasey.

  51. Home is where your family is Kasey.
    It would be strange if you weren’t nervous.
    Hold on and enjoy the ride of your life and don’t stop blogging!!!

  52. home is wherever my husband and dog reside. but it’s so much more than that, right? i get nervous thinking about moving to a new neighborhood in NYC. which will likely happen when we decide to make some babies. haha.

  53. I can hear the sadness in your voice. I have just been there. We moved from Kansas , last year on December 26th 2010, to Indianapolis, IN , we moved our girls, 12,15,and 16 from the only home they had ever known. I felt awful, I have been homesick, heartsick, street sick, store sick, and every thing in between but I have managed. And , I am starting to feel at home. I want to share with you about a book that I read that really helped me, “After the Boxes are Unpacked” . It is written by Susan Miller and she shares her experiences of moving and actually helps you get excited about the possibilities ahead. I will be praying exactly that for you.

  54. Keep your head up girl! I just want you to know you inspire me. It’s such a huge thing you all are doing. Something you will all remember forever and forever and you are so lucky to have such a supporting family unit. That you and your husband can make this super huge exciting overwhelming decision and just go for it, feet first, is absolutely amazing. Live the dream!!!!

  55. i know your next adventure will be amazing! we’ve moved 5 times (!) in the last few years – it can be scary, but it’s a hell of an adventure:) keep your chin up! and i can’t wait to read about your fun in hawaii!

  56. See if they’ll let you put the scooter in the mini-van.

  57. hi kasey,

    I was just wondering about your garage sale tomorrow. Can you send me the address? I was at one of your past sales in your home but I don’t remember the address.

    Also, can you tell me where you purchased Lola’s iron bed? Is it an antique? thanks so much. All the best to you and your family on your new adventure. Have a ball!! Vicki

  58. Christie McGetrick says:

    Kasey,
    I think you are doing a very brave thing and it seems like now is the time to do it. What a great place for your kids to go to school and continue to grow up. Maybe you can even start your shop back up again.

  59. Rebecca says:

    You need to download “Time of Times” by Badly Drawn Boy and listen to it loudly and on repeat. Have you realized yet that you (and your family) are part of the few, the VERY few, who actually try something well outside their comfort zone….my hat’s off to you.

  60. Christy says:

    I have faith in you! Your ducks are lining up & if anyone can pull this off it will be you.

    PS. If you need a reststop on your journey to the west coast you are welcome to stop by Phoenix. 🙂 My little one is right between Finn & Lola’s ages & I know they would all be besties.

    PSS. For the first time EVER I made my son a box of Kraft mac & cheese last night for dinner, he loved it & it totally made me think of you/the blog. I enjoyed the few bites I snuck of it a little too well too. I swear that stuff is crack.

  61. Youwillloveit says:

    I know the place you are …..but once this next bit is over you won’t look back… Well you will with good thoughts. It’s the best thing you can do for the kids even if it doesn’t work out as you thought.

    You rock for braving it xxx

  62. Jennifer says:

    you are amazing strong talented human beautiful I see you with Life’s changes as new experiences that you will roll with and bounce back in JOY – woth love, Jennifer jennsthreegraces

  63. So envious of your grand adventure. Your story is amazing. I can’t wait to keep reading to find out what happens next….. 🙂

  64. How exciting! Good luck with the moving:)
    I believe you will love your new home town!
    I moved continent once and country twice! always exciting, well after I settle in and made new friends of course.
    But the experience is priceless, trust me:)

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