10 steps to a better you

I’ve compiled a list of 10 very important things to becoming a better you…….

1. Make sure you always have Tampons on hand.

{nothing worse then being on a road-trip and having to grab the empty cereal box}

2. When wearing a cute shorter dress/skirt …be sure to try sitting in it first.

{nothing worse then sitting down with the family and not being able to cross your legs}

3. Always remember where you hid that mysterious mouse trap.

{sure helps to know this before you ask your friend to go ahead & grab what she needs from the pantry}

4. Do not put all of your empty wine bottles out for recycling bin too early on trash days.

{friends will call you and ask why they were not invited to the party that you didn’t have}

5. Make sure you always carry some sort of educational workbook in your purse.

{that way when you run into your child’s teacher at McDonald’s..you can pretend you guys are there to do homework}

6. It’s a good idea to have a little bit of spare paint available for each room you’ve painted.

{that way when you finally pull the boys bed away from the wall….

the booger farm they have been harvesting for 4 years won’t be a big deal}

7. Never…i repeat…never let your husband do your laundry.

{because no matter what….some really cute Anthro dress has slipped in and will now fit your 8 year old}

8. Smile and just nod when your friend mentions the fact that there is a crisis counseling center on your street corner.

{because it never even crossed your mind that you should be concerned….not once…not even

after a car was sitting outside watching your children play}

9. Try not to be paranoid about the crisis counseling center down the street on the corner.

{anyone can have a crisis….anyone can go to counseling}

10. Don’t get too excited when you find out that the 5k you and a friend were going to sign up for is cancelled.

{having to pay good money to run is just silly}

Comments

  1. and when all else fails, move to a wonderful island far far away with your bestie bloggy buddy.
    Hint hint….. no really. Take me with you. I have tried your 10 step program it is is not working…ha!

  2. hahahahahahahahahahaha…that is all

  3. You never fail to put a smile on my face and laughter from my mouth! You are a hoot and I agree, do NOT under ANY circumstance put all of your wine (or vodka) bottles in the recycling bin at one time. Bad. Very bad.

  4. you really do need to write that book..you are the updated erma bombeck and i loved her humor!

  5. I may not be better yet, but I feel better:) You make me smile! 🙂

  6. I agree with sharron. a year in Hawaii would be a nice time to get started!

  7. Just wanted to let you know how happy we are for your family! A few years ago, we spent six weeks in Kauai…the first two were adjustment weeks, as we learned to slow down. The rest was just pure bliss. We easily slipped into the ‘If get, get. If no get, no get.” way of living, and it was wonderful. So excited to read this about the upcoming year for you all!!!

  8. LOL! Again, thanks for the smile and for making me spit coffee on my keyboard! I think the same can be said for BUYING said wine at the grocery store. Make sure to spread your purchases out over a few days and add some broccoli and milk so as not to give one more impression that the crisis center is needed! 😉

  9. Hahaha – great tips!

  10. You mean reach in the PANTRY, right? Cause otherwise, that’s a really different kind of party…..(sorry, I am illegally reading this at work and was laughing so hard…junior high humor….)

  11. Love it!

  12. Love #6. Am so with you on #10. The handful of times I have run a 5k, I have cursed the entire time. I can’t believe people actually like to torture themselves like that.

  13. cracking up

  14. Seriously t he funniest thing i’ve read all day.
    The wine bottles kill me.

  15. I don’t know how I found your blog, but I’ve been reading through all of you last posts and you are so funny.
    I’m so excited to see what the next chapter brings for you and that darling family of yours.!!

  16. LOVE THIS!

    HUGS FROM MY HEART

  17. Ok funny lady…another great day in your blog!

  18. You make me laugh so. -your blog is my go-to-first blog——can relate to the wine bottles…just saying.

  19. Funny! Love the necklace…I want one….where did you get it?

  20. You should write a book!

    XO,
    Jane

  21. Oh this post was so funny! Made me LOL.

  22. Just make sure to stow your tampons away somewhere safe in your purse. Nothing better than your two-year old waving them around in the shopping cart yelling, “What’s this, what’s this?” He did that twice, mind you.

  23. I am pretty sure all of that is already in The Bible. I believe….”Revolations.” 😉

  24. Oh that number 7… A fare few of my lovely clothes have ended up on much smaller people than me…

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