a sunday question

I realize the photo has nada to do with this post…but we miss our little friend.

Actually…it could….but it doesn’t…because they are not on facebook.

I have a question for all of you today…..because of an article i was reading yesterday on the

appropriate age a person should be on Facebook.

{i was reading this while at the gym….day 5}

I realize a lot of high school kidsΒ are on….i even know of a few middle schoolers.

It’s funny because when Facebook was started…it was meant for college kids…but then

it opened up…..and now…obviously…it’s global and anyone…can have an account.

If you have kids…..how old are they and when did you let them get a FB acct?


why are you not on FB?

well….just tell me what you think…i’d love to hear.


  1. all three of my kids have fb accounts…{13}, {16} and {17} only because we are 3,000 miles away from family. they are ALL in CA whilst we are here in NC. it’s a great place (1 stop) to keep in touch with both sides and good friends we left behind and for me it has helped me to reconnect with family members globally that otherwise i would never hear from or haven’t heard from in decades…(philippines, germany, holland, canada, japan). of course, my kids fb has evolved from family members only to being fb friends with school friends as well. however, they know i monitor their fb’s and constantly drill/remind them to always be positive in their comments and never to post anything negative. oh, and to limit their friends. i have them to a spring cleaning of their fb friends every 6 months or so.

    sorry for the rambling : ).

    have a loveLee sunday!


  2. This is a really good question. And, its really good that you are concerned about it. I have a 14 year old and a 16 year old. Neither of my kids have very much interest in the daily checking in and chit-chatting that is Facebook. This was very curious to me why they didn’t seem addicted to it like so many kids. As I watched my own Facebook friends “take to it” or “not”, I realized it is very personality driven. The social butterflies LOVE it. The more intro-verted types consider it a nuisance. I have 2 of those here. Me? I like Facebook because we have moved so many times and I can stay connected. But like with blogging, it can be addictive.

    I would say it depends on the child. If you think they would be mature about it and not get caught up in the social drama that unfolds on Facebook, then its really fun. If your child tends to let social situations get the better of him/her (and only a parent can know) then it might lead to some drama. One thing I have noticed is that kids forget that they are “posting” their thoughts to anyone and everyone that they friend. It also does tend to get in the way of school work if the child doesn’t have boundaries about checking in. For my son, its game-playing on the computer I have to ration. He could care less what people on Facebook have to say. If you are looking for a minimum age, I’ve heard most parents go with 14 yrs. old.

    Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for a book! I’ll stop here and give you time to read OTHER people’s thoughts.

  3. One more thought… (Sorry I have so many) My daughter is going on college tours. The other day, she shadowed a student for the day at a university. She enjoyed the other girl tremendously. The girl offered to Facebook “friend” her so they could stay in touch. This is the first time we realized that IF my daughter had anything questionable on her facebook account, it would be accessible to the admissions department. Luckily, like I said, she rarely uses her account. But, several of her friends wouldn’t be able to tell the rosiest of stories based on their Facebook posts. Last thought: get an account yourself and “friend” your kids. Religiously check what others are saying and what your child is saying…. O.K., officially signing out.

  4. I don’t have a fb account. It’s never really interested me. I spend enough time following blogs! My son is a college freshman and just deleted his fb account. He said it is a distraction and a waste of time. His roommate is addicted to fb and has no social life. Kindof sad really, that kids would rather be on fb than see each other in person!

  5. I have a facebook, but I only check in once a month or so. I teach third grade, and students in my class and parents try to friend me. I love my job, but after 4:00 I don’t want to talk about junior or talk to junior. I am frequently approached by students saying, “why won’t you friend my mom or me on facebook?” I have even had parents write me notes saying that they added me to their facebook in their child’s agenda. I feel myself having to give a conflict of interest speech to eight year olds too frequently. I guess what I am saying is eight is too young if they are trying to friend their teacher πŸ™‚

  6. i had a fb account but then after being on it for about four months i deleted it. i found myself being too curious (going through others photos, who said what, etc) and wasting way too much time. also, i realized that the whole “friend” was making me weary. half the people on my “friend” list i wouldn’t have wanted to have a cup of coffee with, so what does that say, why would i want them to have access to such personal info of mine? it just didn’t make sense to me. i once saw a tshirt that said “FACEBOOK, THE HIGH SCHOOL REUNION THAT NEVER ENDS” that really made me laugh. it’s so true!

    in my experience, most of the grown ups i know who are in absolute love with facebook have no hobbies. ha ha! just sayin’

  7. I’m in politics and use FB daily, as well as twitter. It is a tool just like any other. I pass along news, information, dates, meetings, etc. It is a great source of distribution of information in a quick way to constituents. Post something once and everyone gets it immediately. It can be as public or as private as the user chooses.
    Concerning children and adolescents, my thought is if you make it a rule that they have to let you be a “friend” then they won’t be so inclined to post anything they wouldn’t want YOU to see, therefore they will be a bit careful what they post!
    Fortunately my adult children use FB, Twitter, and blogging to keep our far flung family in touch.

  8. I was on FB for a long time, and it was great to reconnect with friends, but I found I was “too plugged” in at times and I was spending my free time on the computer too much. I decided to delete my account a few weeks ago, and it has been so nice and quiet! I hardly get on the computer {or check my phone for FB updates}, and now I can focus just on blogging when I feel like and playing with my two boys (the most important thing during my free time). I am loving the simple “un plugged” feel of my days now πŸ˜‰

  9. We use facebook to stay connected with our bible study group as well as our kiddos youth group. Our 13 and 16 year olds both have accounts. I had said no to facebook for awhile until it seemed like we needed it to stay in touch with what was going on. It is a great way for me to stay involved in the teenagers lives. I can view other teens pages. I find out alot about what kind of kiddos they are and if I want my children hanging out with them. BIG PLUS these days. I try to keep facebook time to a minimum for myself and my teens, as it can become very addicting and time consuming.

  10. I thought it would be a great connect at first, but when I realized people were actually chatting alot on it and it felt like a constant string of conversation at all times. Like twitter is, right? Anyway, I guess I’ll be pegged for not being so current with tech, but it was beyond time consuming. Plus, all the pictures of everyone’s life was too unreal-like life is one big party to get to and not so reality based. Blogs can be so much more enriching and not so time based. I like the comment form your friend upbove-to be unplugged is a calmer feeling.
    hugs my friend-thats our kiddoes up there! Do you know how much Selah and Tristan miss the neighborhood daily kid fest! so sad!

  11. Oh, how’s about age 22 for FB? Just kidding, sorta. (in case Mason was in consideration).

  12. My kids were in high school…it was more of a safety thing.Daughter tried to sneak in a MySpace but I nixed it.I love/hate fb.Love that I can keep up with out-of-town friends but hate the high school drama!However,it is part of our life and a good way to teach high school kids about boundaries and appropriate conversations,ect.

  13. My dd is 10, we have not let her get on fb yet. Still being just scared.

  14. Interesting question. I think I will allow my boys to get FB accounts when they get into high school. I will limit their friends to family and out of town friends. I think they should be talking with their high school friends not FB chatting or writing on their neighbors walls (like their mother does).

  15. Im NOT a fan of facebook. I think that it is often a place kids find themselves opening up and then rideculed later for what they say. They often dont think things thru because the brain is not develped enough.
    I have a child (13) on facebook. I monitor the page on occasion and have only had to have 1 conversation about what was written that could be seen in several ways. I have read kids pages and seen photos that have made me sick. I think they often go for shocking people and dont realize how it reflects upon them. I would prefer my kids not do it but also feel they need to fit in and i want to be somewhat flexible.

  16. I think facebook is good for people who live far away from friends and family…but what ever happened to good old fashioned phone calls? Things like facebook, texting, and emails have somewhat taken away from normal socialization, in my opinion.
    I’m 21 years old, so I guess it’s weird that I myself have never had a facebook and have never desired to have one. I’ve of course seen other friend’s facebook accounts and I am sorry if this offends anybody…but it just seems like an easy way to brag about your life. Who really cares about all the pictures someone posts of themself in their bikini, and who really cares when someone lists every single thing they did in that day? I think society is becoming increasingly narcissistic, and I think facebook is a big tool in that.
    All in all, I just think you have to be careful when you let your child use things like facebook. When they are young, they still don’t have the maturity of an adult, and the things they write may come back to bite them in the butt one day. And of course, at the click of a button they could ruin some other kid’s life, or their life could be shaken up as well, all due to the simple fact that they are too young. Also, facebook hasn’t been around forever…so it’s not vital that you have one.

  17. *snaps* to you Mallory! such wisdom from such a young age. As a teacher I couldn’t agree more with you! I’m constantly teaching my kids at school –social skills 101–how to look at someone in the eyes when they speak, how to ask them questions, how to care about others…something that our society will start to lose with so much time in front of a keyboard (not to mention the spelling errors on papers that fall back on texting).
    I feel guilty at times when I’m walking and have on my iPod…that I can’t say “hello/good morning” in a true voice to those that I may pass along the way. Is that being old fashioned? Perhaps…but I think we’ll go back to those good old fashioned values when we realize we’ve gone too far.

  18. HA! This is as Good as what age should my Child have a Cell Phone. My Opinion is Each case is Different, each parent has to make the choice as to when it is appropriate for their child. With my kids I started talking Sex Drugs and everything in between when they were in the 5th grade. You may think early but you should hear what the kids are saying at that age? All misconceptions and mis truths so I always felt I had to be Honest. Emily soon to be 16 has had a FB for over a year as Eli who is almost 12 has had it the same. Emily uses it very little Eli is on it all the time. I have them both as friends along with many of their friends and monitor everything they do and say. I will only admit this on here that I have both of their passwords and do check their pages often. (without their knowledge) Yes I Snoop and Spy!! Its our job as Parents to Monitor and Watch everything our kids are doing. And wait until the teen years really get going and your kids start hiding and lying?! It’s really fun. I’ll One UP your Facebook question, with what do you do when your child creates a Tumblr Page!! That is where you find my Teenager on most days, very very interesting. Happy Sunday, Great discussion. XO

  19. I have had a facebook account for a few years but the only time I go on it is when I get a message from someone. My brother lives in Spain and sails so is away a lot so he set me up on it as it’s a good way to keep in touch as the cost of phoning a mobile on a yacht is ridiculous. I’m not really interested in snooping around on anyone else’s account simply because my own life is so hectic I don’t have time to care about what other people are up to. If they are my close friends or family I already know anyway.
    My son is 13 next week and in the 2nd year at comprehensive (high school). Some of his school mates have been my friends on facebook for a long time. I never chat to them though! None of his best friends are on it at all. He has never asked to go on it so it’s not an issue for me. I would probably let him at 13 but would monitor everything closely and delete his account if I thought anything inappropriate was going on. I have many friends and colleagues whose kids are on it and have been for a really long time. I’ve heard awful tales of bullying. Our headmaster sent out a letter to parents basically asking them to bring any problems with the school to his attention rather than slate the school on facebook as one Mum had done. A friend was called to her school as a couple of girls in her daughter’s class had arranged via facebook to gang up on her daughter and attack her one lunchtime.
    My son has an MSN account to keep in touch with a friend who moved to Canada 3 years ago. That’s all he uses it for. When he first set the account up he was bombarded with messages from girls in his year asking him to date them or one of their friens… (you’ve got to watch out for these teenage girls – so forward!!).
    For now I’d keep them off facebook but if, however, anyone has any tips for getting a teenage boy off X-box live or a 9 year old girl off Club Penguin I’d love them!

  20. I have 2 grands on, ages 15 and 13, but none of the younger ones. Even at this age, their Mom (single Mom) has a rule that they have to give her their password and she has to approve all information. She monitors it pretty closely and they do have to remove posts occasionally. I have been known to call and say – “what were you thinking? Take that off, please!” Guess it takes a village to raise them, huh? I think its a great questions, and you know your kids better than anyone. I also think it makes a difference if they are using it to keep in touch with or socially with school friends. Have a wonderful week. Sandi

  21. I can’t answer the what age to allow kids on Facebook because I don’t have kids – the one MAJOR thing in my opinion though is parents need to make sure their childs Facebook is PRIVATE. I’ve ran across some friends kids Facebook pages that they are open to the public, pictures and everything, that is so scary in my opinion.
    The next question – I am on Facebook as you know lol and use it too keep in touch but mainly for my business, last month in 2.5 weeks I got 6 orders from my Facebook business page, that’s more than I ever got from my actual website since 2002 lol. I however keep posts positive for the most part, and try not to be negative or reveal too much. I’m not into the whole location thing, people don’t need to know where I’m at 24/7.
    Hope this helps πŸ™‚
    Congrats on 6 days at gym! I just got the new Billy blanks tae-Bo I can’t wait to jump into πŸ™‚

    • Just wanted to add that I also like it for discounts and deals companies do for Facebook fans and let’s me know when new blogs are up.
      I am not on twitter though.
      Okay done!

  22. My oldest daughter has a Facebook account {she’s 15} and most of her friends do, too. My husband gets on Facebook so he can monitor our daughter:) As for me, I much prefer “blogland”!

  23. Brandi Ann Asan says:

    Dear Kasey,
    It was my understanding that in order to register for an account with FB that the minimum age requirement is 13. I know that a lot of families either do not care or do not know what their kiddos are up to and because of that many children under 13 lie about their age to create an account. My husband and I have had accounts for sometime now to moniter our oldest’s activity (She is now 18). None of our other children seem interested in FB, even though only 1 of the remaining 4 children are 13. Within the last year, I have had my FB account hacked into more times than I can count and subsequently have had to deactivate it. πŸ™

  24. I have a FB page but make a point of only having ‘friends’ that I know and like communicating with. It’s invaluable for running my business but I was really nervous about my girls being on FB- they are 15 and 13. I have made it a condition I am one of their friends until they are 16, so I am aware of what goes on their page. I think it is a huge time waster for kids and becomes addictive and mind numbing. I know my older daughter can’t seem to monitor her own usage so I have had to step in and place boundaries around it. in Australia as part of our school system, there are many compulsory seminars discussing FB, cyberbullying and appropriate online behaviour so my kids are aware of the dangers and pitfalls.

  25. I dont have children, however I do have a facebook account. I set it up for business reasons. I see so many kids and adults so absorbed by technology. The other day my husband and I were out have an early dinner and two ladies with their young 7 or 8 year old daughters were at the booth beside us and the whole time they either talked or texted on their phones. What a shame that they had an opportunity to engage in their childrens life and chose to tune out. We think they were texting each other instead of talking.

  26. I am fifty four and love facebook! I have connected and reconnected with many really fun and interesting people = and have found dozens of new blogs to follow because of FB. Go for it!

  27. Post Script I have a 24 year old son and an almost 22 year old daughter and they love that I have an active FB account – as does our business.
    I do think phone calls and in person visits are equally important.
    Do it, Kasey! I will “friend” you – only if you accept πŸ™‚

  28. Facebook has been a wonderful thing for myself to reconnect with old friends that I had simply lost touch with and my husband loves that he has found old friends as well. Two of my three kids (only because my son is 4 and can’t read yet) have facebook and they love getting on and mostly playing games. My daughters are 10 (she will be 11 on 3/3) and 9. I have total access to their accounts and their accounts are marked private (this includes pics, posts, seeing their friend list, etc..) My oldest and I have a blast playing each other with bejeweld and mahjong to try to see who can beat each other.
    I can honestly say that I thought we would be some of the first parents from her elementary school who allowed their children to have a facebook account, but boy was I wrong! I was amazed that my girls were actually the only few kids from their school that didn’t have an account.

    We have strict rules about it and they both know that if one doesn’t follow the rules then their account will be deleted.
    I am assuming your 10 year old is begging for a facebook account and I wish you the best of luck with all the begging and pleading…we have been there and it wears ya down.

  29. I am not on FB. My plan is to be the last human alive to not have FB account and then go on Oprah for my 15 minutes of fame.

    Seriously, though. I have no interest in “reconnecting” with the people I didn’t care about in HS. That’s always been my perception of FB. So I never got into it.

    Blogs, on the other hand, totally addicted to those. πŸ˜‰

  30. I have a 16 year old that had a Facebook account. She deleted over Christmas break because of all the drama. Her first experience with FB was at the end of 8th grade because she was going to a different high school than most of her middle school friends. She liked it at first but found over the years that the drama out weighs the good. She prefers to text or Skype to keep in touch with friends. She was also very aware of the negative consequences that can come with posts on FB. We made sure she realized that colleges and future employers would be able to see anything she posted. She’s happy with her decision.

  31. I do not use facebook. For me, I know I would be totally addicted and waste WAY too much time on there!!! I have friends in my life that I am close to, and we stay in touch other ways. Let me tell you, every year when by birthday rolls around, I know exactly who my friends are! I have used facebook in the past, and I just found I would spend a lot of time being nosy about people. I would come away from the computer after an hour or 2 and just feel like crap for wasting my time with pointless…blah…. Sure there are people that I think I’d like to reconnect with, but what meaning or value would that bring to my life?

    As for kids??? Mine are still just 5, 3, and 1, so I have some time to think about that πŸ˜‰

  32. I am not on FB however I have many friends who are. Not really sure why I have not plugged in. My kids, ages 24, 19 and 15 are plugged in! I can appreciate the connectedness of social networking however I do not think the kids get that once out in cyberspace always out in cyberspace. I am also concerned about the overshare aspect. While I am not policing the college kids’ pages, I am able to see what they have out there through my son and from family members who have friended them. They get that it gets back to the ‘rents without active recon on our parts!!! Ultimately, they know that we expect them to act like the young ladies and young man that they were brought up to be;-)

  33. I let my older girls join in when they were 14… I know some of my friends let their younger children join in, but I think it’s better to wait until they are aware of the consequences of what they put out there…. And they have to befriend me!! I don’t spy, but I like to know what goes on…

  34. I made “13” the magic age for everything in my house… (minus dating, he has to be 30 before he gets to do that)

    “Mom, can I have a dog?” “When you’re 13!”
    “Mom, can I have a cell phone?” “When you’re 13!”
    “Mom, can I have my own laptop, facebook, ……” “When you’re 13!”

    He’s 9 now…. I have a few years and then I’ll figure out how to stall him longer!

    Mikal πŸ™‚

  35. I wanted to add that, with my entire side of the family in Europe, it’s been a great way for my family to keep in touch with us, and see pictures of the kids activities, doing sports and just plain watch them grow up!!!

  36. HI Kasey,
    I came across your blog through a mutual friend – vicki archer.
    Love your question today. I really good one to ask. I have 3 teenager, 19,17, and 15. They all have facebook accounts.
    It has been a bone of contention with the family on and off. I find it can get invasive if there are no rules.
    We have a few in our house.
    The first being:
    I am their friend and so is their dad. This means that we see what is posted on their walls and what they are posting.
    No bad talk or bad words, – this is a hard one as it is difficult to monitor their friends, but if we see anything inappropriate as ask them to remove it.
    Thirdly –
    Limited facebook time. We found this out the hard way.

    As a family we all use facebook to connect with our family and friends here and overseas.
    Hope some of this helps.

  37. I joined FB because a high school kid invited me. (I help out with a bunch of hs/ms kids….don’t just have random friends in hs/ms…but they are my friends too.) I thought, “how cool that so-and-so wanted me to join fb. Ok, I’ll do it.” Ends up, the kid accidentally invited everyone in his email inbox, including his g’rents. I wasn’t as special as I thought I was.

  38. Hi Kasey,
    I love your photos and what you have to say. You are a cool girl. I have three boys, 5, nearly 4, and 2 years old. I fear social networking in terms of kids. I mean, my own kids. I don’t really care what other people’s kids are doing. I’m not sure what I will do when they are at an age when they will ask me for access to facebook, but I think I will respect the rules. Isn’t there an age minimum for facebook? I’ll blame my decision on that. I certainly won’t be lying for them. My goal is to be their mom and not their friend. I’m sure that’s easier being said when they are little. Its a scary world out there.

  39. I usually just lurk here but thought I’d chime in today! My son’s are all on FB, ages 21, 19 and 17. The 19 and 17 year olds just recently got on there but the 21 year old has been on for quite a while. I don’t have an account and really don’t want one, I don’t want to hear from anyone from my old high school days or any creepy guys from my past. Plus, I figure I waste enough time online without adding an extra addiction into the mix. And, my mother is on FB…I would have to deny her if she tried to friend me and I’d rather not!

  40. I have been on FB for several years and love it. It has brought me close to friends and workmates who have moved to other countries. I particularly love when they post their favourite music, books and pictures of their lives. There are some younger friends on FB who post items which I feel they may regret later, I will usually “hide these comments” As one reader commented “why not use the phone to connect” a good point and yes necessary however, it is the little things and the photos which make FB exciting.

  41. I can tell you that I have two high school aged daughters who are on Facebook. I also have middle school aged boys who are not FB but want to be. Our house rule is no FB until High School. There is way too much nonsense on it that I don’t want them to be dealing with. My 8th grader is allowed to get an account this summer. I figure he can get it out of his system while on school break. Personally, I am not on FB. As my girlfriends and I all say we fell out of touch with people for a reason!!! Personal choice but I do hate to see the younger kids on it. Kids are growing up waaayyyy to fast nowadays.

  42. I know a 2yr old w/a fb account. Really. Nothing on FB is actually private (even w/privacy settings). There are sites that can pull up any info from anyone’s page. Security & maturity are my guideposts. After listening to a houseful of 10 yr old boys’ conversations, I don’t think they’re quite ready, lol. Also, I agree w/comments about it promoting narcissism. Call me old fashioned but I still believe my main responsibility as a parent is to instill character in my kids, not entertain them. FB would certainly do the latter, but at their ages it could hinder the former. We’ll wait.

  43. Read the Christian fiction book Predator by Terri Blackstock. Or maybe not, its kinda scary! Kids have to be very careful about the information they put out and the friends of friends they might accept. Everyone isn’t who they appear to be online. Anyways. I think people don’t communicate enough these days. Its much more convenient to shoot out a text or inform people of the births and events in their lives by typing a few lines and sending it out into cyberspace. Sometimes I hate technology! It kinda hurts to find out online that your cousin is moving or has had a baby. I’d much rather here important news from the people themselves. Or even the boring or funny stuff their kids did. Anyhoo. Thats all I have for now.

  44. My daughter had a my space account in 7th grade – that was too young. She promptly forgot her password and decided not to sign up for a new account – and I was supportive. She admitted that she was much happier not having an account. She set up a FB account in high school because she went to a differnt school from most of her friends. FB got out of hand – the bullying and hateful things kids do online is awful. I signed up at the same time so I could spy on her. We had lots of discussions about “ruining your future” by what you post on FB. She ‘s in college now, and it is a good tool for staying in touch with people. They don’t have to share a phone number or email address with acquaintance – they just communicate through FB.

    So, learning the hard way, I’d say that high school is probably the youngest age for an FB account. Just my opinion…

  45. My daughters are 14 and 12. I didn’t want them to have an account, but they are super computer savvy, so they would of done it I am sure behind my back. They came to me and we talked, I have both their passwords. It is difficult at times. Almost everyone they know has an account. I think the hardest thing is how this generation is so “disconnected” and do not realize that when they push that button and post a status or comment, that it is forever and for all to see. I got an account when they did, I didn’t want the drama in my life that myspace brought at times, but I wanted to keep an eye on my kids so I took the plunge. I communicate mostly with old friends, and family that do not live in our town. πŸ™‚

  46. Hi Kasey,

    Well, I have to tell the truth … I am not on facebook. I know its sacrilegious, but I don’t want people to know my every move or if I had a sandwich for lunch (or is that twitter?). I blog, so I like to think I am connected enough (in a more authentic way) but my little sister disagrees she’s 24 (I’m 31). I am probably showing just how geeky I am, but it is who I am. πŸ™‚


  47. my 12 and 14 year old have an account but I am their friend, have their passwords….I have seen some friends say soemthing questionable before and that has opened up conversations about how you are precieved when you say things like that and have had my oldest tell me about blocking people because they cuss a lot or say bad things… so, so far it has been ok for us…

  48. my 14 yr.old had a fb account, but we had her cancel it. as a mother of 3 girls, i don’t think they need to add any more drama to their everyday life. why should they be on the computer more than what they already are? i have a fb and it’s great to keep in touch with family and friends, but i am an adult (atleast some days ). i say let kids be kids and hang out. why do they need a “social network” isn’t that what school is for.

  49. My junior high daughter isn’t on fb, but I let her message the fam through my fb sometimes. My friends with older kids have experienced some very disturbing things on fb. Kids can be really mean!!! I let her write letters to out of town friends and family, and the lunch table can be her social network for now.

  50. I have many many mixed emotions regarding time suck..I mean,face book
    a great tool for re connecting
    but also a great tool for getting yourself into trouble

    my kids are not on face book
    not until they are old enough to know that what you PUT OUT THERE
    is out there for EVERYONE to see
    I barely understand that sometimes

    great tool to keep you “in touch”
    but also a great tool for keeping you”out of touch” with the REAL people in your life…you know, the actual friends

    I keep trying to delete my account
    but I love it just as much as I hate it

    it is a brilliant, brilliant tool, that I fear, will one day explode in our faces

    we can meet for a latte to talk more…or, just message me on facebook πŸ™‚

  51. My daughter has a twitter – but I administer it! πŸ˜‰ She has had it since she was 4.5 but obviously I type the words in for her. My nephews both have had FB accounts for years, now 11 and 14 – I do not know how old Boo Boo will need to be to get a FB, we have not gotten that far yet.

  52. I started FB last year, after contemplating using My Space, and never doing it, and I am 54. Then with my son and his wife’s plans of moving I started FB, just going to use it to keep in touch with the kids, we have 2 sons, grown and on their own.
    Fast forward a year later, and I love, did I say LOVE FB !! I have found friends from high school and college, and cousins that I had lost contact with, it is a great tool…….. for adults. This only my opinion but I do not think that children or teen agers should use FB.
    Why you ask? Because this generation of electronic gadgets is making people not have to invest in relationships, they send a text, post a FB message/ picture, or twitter and they call this connecting to people.
    Even though I have found high school friends, and cousins on FB, I really have NOT reconnected to them, I have not embraced them, sat across a table and talked with them, looked into their eyes, felt their joy, shared their sorrow…… in my opinion there is definetly a place for FB, Twitter, My Space, but not when children should be learning how to really connect with others. These electronic relationships can be a godsend if you already have a relationship with the person.
    The other issue that I have is that it can be much easier for people, especially younger people to bully others on these sites, they can just type the words hit enter and they go out and can never be brought back. And children do not realize the danger of talking to someone who they do not know. And they do not know the danger of putting things out in cyberspace that cannot be brought back.
    As the father of 2 grown sons, who kept the computer in the living room, monitored their cell phones, and tried to do everything I could to keep them safe and healthy, these devices still caused hurt and brought drama into our home that we did not want or need.
    So I say for you parents out there who are in the battle and do not fool yourself ,it is a battle to keep your kids safe and out of harms way, do not let them get attached to these sites at such a young age. They are small for such a short time, keep them as safe as you can , and keep them innocent from some of the uglyness of this world for as long as you can.
    Again this is only my opinion, from the other side of raising children, ie they are grown, 24, and 26, but you have such a BIG job of making sure that you keep your kids out of harms way. I pray for all parents every day, for even though we have raised our children, I know the battle is long and at times the rewards appear to be small. Trust me when I say it is our job to be our children’s PARENT when they are growing up, and compared to their adulthood it is a small window of time. We have the rest of their adult lives to be their friends.
    Blessings to you and yours
    Curis and Sherrie

  53. I have one, although I was reluctant at first. Now I am not sure why. My son is only 7 & he doesn’t have one, although he has asked, he thinks he needs FB & “a twitter”, however he doens’t know why. Most of his friends are at our home daily & he has never lived anywhere other than where we are now, I don’t see the need. I think I will revisit around 12. 12 seems far enough away that I don’t need to think about it. πŸ™‚ His middle school will be a little bit further from home & more kids/friends from different ‘hoods. This is also the time for cell phone, if he is responsible enough. I can’t see the need for wither right now when his social netowrk is within a few block radius.

  54. Im on FB- I was reluctant at first- Im a bit of a slacker and it felt like a lot of work. Then I discovered I could spy on all the people I went to highschool with- so that was fun. I found my first room mate- we had parted ways after a dispute over shampoo- I may have emptied her expensive shampoo and replaced it with my much cheaper brand- anyways we “found” each other after 15 or so years and are now great friends again- in person and on FB. I have friends sprinkled all over this planet and it is so nice to be able to see their kids growing , to be thinking about them and just be able to shout out a “hey! hows your day”. When you cant talk to someone in person or on a phone I appreciate that I have FB in my life!

    ps- I will not let my kids on FB- too many pictures of me in university!

  55. Hi Kasey! I think kids need to be at least 15-16 years old. Some of that also depends on your child, boy or girl, maturity level, social skills, etc. Also, maybe younger if you plan to monitor the page daily. I just think there are so many things that can be said on fb that have a lasting effect and not good for younger children. My 15 year old son set up an account – but really didn’t have much interest in it other than playing the games. After about 2 weeks, he deleted his account. He doesn’t like to chit-chat in real life and he said that was all fb was to him. So that was an easy situation. Girls are definitely more social, so I would want to monitor it very closely.

  56. I think that facebook has the potential to be a great tool. Like someone previously said, they’ve had more business from fb, than from their own website, and I think that’s great!

    I left fb over a year ago. I found that as a stay at home mom, I was using it as my only source of social interaction, because it was easy. I started to forget how to have a real conversation!

    I was also really disappointed in some of the things people would say, or the conversations going on between friends. Written words can so often be misrepresented and misunderstood, plus it’s so easy to be harsh when you don’t have to look into someone’s eyes when you do it.
    The way some people post every gory detail of their life for hundreds of people to see? I even knew a couple going through a divorce that publicly slammed each other on fb. how awful is that to do to their children? And they can never take it back. Their buddies from grade school now know every awful detail of their split. That just doesn’t seem right. I realize this is an extreme, but it does happen. It really did start to feel like high school.

    If grown adults are having these kind of problems, I can’t imagine the gossip and backstabbing that goes on when teens are using facebook.

    I only have very young kids right now, but after my own experience with facebook (not to mention the freedom I feel from not being on it anymore), I would have to consider very carefully whether I wanted my children using it, and if they did, I would definitely be monitoring it closely.

    I think facebook, when used correctly, can be a wonderful resource, but it is not for me.

  57. I am not on facebook because I don’t want people looking me up. I figure if I had a relationship with that person then they would already no everything about me. If I don’t have a relationship with them, there is probably a reason for not having contact. I also think some people use it as a form of voyerism. They can take a peek at someone’s life without them knowing it and I think that is kind of creepy. I would like to be able to use facebook to check out anthropologie’s facebook sight or get coupons for other stores. I joined for one day recently. I had set it up in the evening and waited to activate my account the next morning. Wouldn’t you know it, but someone I really didn’t want to have contact with had already requested to be my friend. I just deactivated my account immediatiately. I wasn’t even on facebook for 12 hours!!

    My children are 24, 22, and 17, so they are all age appropriate users. I don’t think I would have let them have a facebook account until high school. Not having an account, except overnight once, I have never felt the need to check in and see what they are up to on facebook. We talk a lot and it seems like they know how to self monitor themselves. I know a lot of mean stuff takes place on facebook. People have arguments and everybody knows their dirt, so it’s just not for me. Once when I was trying to explain facebook to my mother, who is 88, I made a comment about some people spending so much time on facebook their butts should be flat. Well my sister thought I was making a comment directly about her. Oops! How would I know how much time she spent on facebook if I wasn’t on it myself? She was very upset with me. I just meant some people, I’m not naming any names, get kind of addicted and they forget that their is a real world going on. That’s all I’m saying. It’s just not my thing. But, I do like reading blogs for entertainment and educational purposes!!!

  58. My LuLu is 13- she was 12 when she opened a FB.
    She is responsible so I don’t worry about it too much.
    I like that I can monitor the friends and conversations she has.
    I don’t use FB very often but I think it’s awesome.
    It’s a wonderful venue to make a point or to let your friends and family know whats happening.
    I love the birthday reminders!

  59. My ten year old daughter has a FB account and she RARELY uses it. Mainly she uses it to communicate with her Grandma and Aunt who live in other cities. I personally don’t see a problem with it as long as it is monitored. Some of my friends think I’m crazy for allowing a 10 year old to get an account, but I think that if something is “taboo” kids are waaaay more likely to rebel. She plays games once in a while and emails her aunt and grandmother – that’s about it. I have discussed the safety issues with her and we set everything on the highest settings. She is not allowed to be on FB at school or at friend’s houses – only when she is home with us. When she gets a friend request, she asks us to make sure it’s okay before accepting. So far, it’s been great! Good luck!

  60. I have a FB account after using my husbands for a year or so. I then decided to open my own. I really enjoy it, I have gotten back in touch with many “long lost” friends from high school and college. My oldest daughter will be 10 soon, and we’ve decided that 15 or 16 may be a good age to start an account. I have a few teenagers that are my “friends” from our church, and all I can say is DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!
    I also want to say that I look forward to your blog everyday. You always put a smile on my face. Thank you!!

  61. I have a FB as does my husband. Our kids (ages 14,10 and 8) do not. I don’t want to put my 14 year old in the position to turn people who want to friend him on there away. There are definitly people I wouldn’t want him exposed to. I’m appalled by my own family/friends and how they let their kids say f this and f that. Not to mention all of the teen love. I just want to get the parents by the scruff of the neck. Just my opinion :).

  62. I don’t like Fb and I think it is such a waste of time!!! It is difficult for kids to use it in an approprieted way…I know many people always on fb during working hours, late at night…if adults sometimes aren’t able to use it well..how can we give it to our kids when they are so young?
    I am not on facebook…sorry!!!
    Just my opinion Kasey, baci, Monica

  63. Ahh OK so I found the actual relevant post on the facebook issue – hmm – must pay more attention! I have a friend, well an old school friend who I keep in touch with but never see, whose 11 year old daughter is on FB. I see things the daughter has posted through my friend’s profile and get that uncomfortable feeling of ‘she doesn’t know what she is exposing to the world’. I know there are privacy settings but still. It is a topic that divides people – so I think it’s great, but for my kids – definitely NOT YET…and they are 9 and 5. Lou x

  64. Hey Kasey,

    Just catching up on blog reading this morning & had to chime in on fb. I use & love fb….we, too, have family all over the country – from Alaska to Boston – so it really is the quickest & easiest way to keep up with “what’s new” without having to make 27 phone calls. Being hearing impaired, I’m able to chat with my out-of-town besties more easily this way too.

    Regarding our kids {12 & 15}, the grade school which is k-8, took this decision right out of our hands when they banned fb {which made national news} for all students. If you’re caught with an account you get suspended, if you do not delete it immediately, you get expelled. Of course, this just made the kids want it even more. Let’s just say there are certain individuals who may have used the name of their childhood imaginary friend to sign up when they were in 8th grade….and he still got busted….don’t know what he was thinking, those nuns have their connections! So my oldest “officially” signed up on fb about 1 minute after graduation, I think the entire class might have actually. We monitor it pretty closely and so far, so good. I told him I will trust that he is mature enough to be appropriate until he proves me wrong and at that point, it gets deleted.

    I’m glad that decision was made by the school, even if it was kind of shocking at the time. They are there to protect our children and fb holds too much potential to cause problems when misused. Wordy, I know, all just to say I think high school age is the best time to give fb a try.

    Have a great day!

    • Oh My. That isn’t protection, that is dictatorship. And for a school to do that. I am glad I don’t live there. If that happened I would let my child use my facebook account if she wanted. Or better yet, change schools.
      Just my opinion, obviously.

  65. Hi. We adopted my daughter from Russia in 2004. Through the internet, I have found her two biological half-siblings (in New Zealand). I have also found them on Facebook. I wouldn’t say that I stalk them, but I do check in on them –they’re a bit older than my daughter, who is 9 and NOT on FB…and won’t be until she’s at least 21, or her (now) 20 and 23 year old brothers (my bio kids) let her…..

  66. Popping over from Today’s Creative…your photos are stunning!

  67. My kids had to be 14 before I let them on facebook… I’m not sure why… but it was 14.

  68. The official fb “rules” are that they are supposed to be 13 to be members. I know people that have made accounts for their babies and toddlers…to this I only want to ask WHY? What is the point of that?

    My son is going on 13 and hoping he can be on facebook. My husband is opposed to it but his two older sons have been on for a year, so it will be hard to be biased. But we are rule followers so 13 will be the minimum and with my other friends, they all monitor their kids usage heavily. There is a lot of “stuff” they can happen onto there, so I wouldn’t make it free range usage. JMO

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